Hard to Bear: Investigating the science and silence of miscarriage

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An inch is too much to bare when stripping the insulation from copper wiring; a strong connection usually only requires ¼ inch of exposed wire or less.

FOR TODAY’s sermon I have selected this wonderful essay by Jerome K. Jerome from 1886. Its title is “On being hard up”, and in it he reflects on petty miseries of being skint. These words can even change the meanings of entire phrases when used incorrectly. The difference between too much to bear and too much to bare comes down to a simple spelling error, but the meanings of each phrase are entirely different. What is the Difference Between Too Much to Bear and Too Much to Bare? I will discuss the differences between too much to bare vs. too much to bear in this article. I will also use each of these phrases in a few example sentences, so you can see them in context. Hard to Bear illuminates the science and numbers, collects a wide range of experiences and suggests how the experience of pregnancy loss might be made less painful. It is a work for and about the 150,000 Australian families affected each year by miscarriage. Powered by anger against injustice and cruelty and the hope of limiting suffering, its method is inclusive. Oderberg believes “we can fix this” and she aims to “forge a pathway for better care in early pregnancy loss”.

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Writers are very familiar with bear meaning a large mammal (e.g., grizzly bear). However, the word bear as many meanings. When they encounter these other meanings, some writers are attracted to bare because they know that bear denotes the large mammal. Well, unless you mean exposed or naked (i.e., bare), then bear is correct. It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one's enemies. It is the successes of one's friends that are hard to bear. (Oscar Wilde) Some medical language could use an upgrade. Wearing the label “elderly primigravida” doesn’t make anyone envisage a thriving prospect, and I wonder whether a cervix – however wonderful – has sufficient intention to be deemed incompetent. On the other hand, when Oderberg wrote an article titled “The ‘ugly’ side of pregnancy loss is the part we most need to see”, the word “clot” was edited out. Latinate and figurative language obfuscates and tidies up experience, while a blunt noun can reveal it.

Homophones are words that mean two different things, even though they sound the same when spoken aloud. English has many homophones, like hare and hair, wear and ware, and bear and bare. Sheila put up with Damian’s immaturity for as long as she could, but she considered his infidelity too much to bear.

Bare

Too much to bear vs. Too much to bare: Remember that bear means to carry or endure as a verb, so substitute too much to endure in your mind when want to use this phrase as a reminder to use bear instead of bare. It is wonderful what an insight into domestic economy being really hard up gives one. If you want to find out the value of money, live on 15 shillings a week and see how much you can put by for clothes and recreation. You will find out that it is worth while to wait for the farthing change, that it is worth while to walk a mile to save a penny, that a glass of beer is a luxury to be indulged in only at rare intervals, and that a collar can be worn for four days. What does too much to bear mean? Too much to bear is a phrase that means to the point of excess. In this case, the infinitive to bear means to carry or endure. I should like to know, too, by what mysterious law of nature it is that before you have left your watch “to be repaired” half an hour, some one is sure to stop you in the street and conspicuously ask you the time. Nobody even feels the slightest curiosity on the subject when you’ve got it on.

In these cases, it’s helpful to create some kind of mnemonic or tool to help you remember when to use which word.The correct word in this instance is bear: I can’t bear it, or bear with me. But how can you remember that? Therefore, too much to bare has an entirely different literal meaning than too much to bear. It would refer to excessive exposure rather than excessive burdens.

However, when talking about birth, the alternative participle born is used (as an adjective or in a passive sentence). For example: Dear old ladies and gentlemen who know nothing about being hard up–and may they never, bless their gray old heads–look upon the pawn-shop as the last stage of degradation; but those who know it better (and my readers have no doubt, noticed this themselves) are often surprised, like the little boy who dreamed he went to heaven, at meeting so many people there that they never expected to see. For my part, I think it a much more independent course than borrowing from friends, and I always try to impress this upon those of my acquaintance who incline toward “wanting a couple of pounds till the day after to-morrow.” But they won’t all see it. One of them once remarked that he objected to the principle of the thing. I fancy if he had said it was the interest that he objected to he would have been nearer the truth: twenty-five per cent. certainly does come heavy. I can speak with authority on the subject of being hard up. I have been a provincial actor. If further evidence be required, which I do not think likely, I can add that I have been a “gentleman connected with the press.” I have lived on 15 shilling a week. I have lived a week on 10, owing the other 5; and I have lived for a fortnight on a great-coat. From the many physical causes of miscarriage, to the socioeconomic, environmental and behavioural factors impacting women’s experiences of pregnancy loss, Oderberg focuses on an Australian context without neglecting alternative statistics and perspectives. To bare means to uncover or expose (think to bare all). Most of the time, you won’t be telling anyone to bare with you (unless, of course, you want them to remove their clothes with you), or saying that you can’t bare it (can’t expose what?).

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Note: The term to bear fruit uses bear not bare. (This term is often mistakely written as to bare fruit.) The actress looked at her new evening gown in the mirror and thought, “that is too much to bare at the Oscars.” Hard to Bear is essential reading for anyone interested in the intersection of systemic inequality, empirical evidence and lived experience.” If you can never remember whether to write bear with me or bare with me; if you can’t tell the difference between I can’t bear it or I can’t bare it, then you’re not alone. The chapter “More Than Words” responds to the many messages Oderberg has received from people asking what to say or do when someone they know has a miscarriage. On its own this chapter could limit suffering. The suggestions of what not to say are particularly useful – “oh well, at least you can drink now”, not to mention “try again”.