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My son has been diagnosed with anxiety. We've got it mainly under control as we know his triggers. The only thing we need help with now is bedtime.
Talking quietly to him or reading to him can have a significant calming effect. If you are wanting him to sleep by 8 then it might be worth trying to get him into bed by 7.40 and use the 20 minutes to share some quality relaxing time with him. My Hidden Chimp; Helping children to understand and manage their emotions, thinking and behaviour with ten helpful habits. Prof Steve PetersThe first is the “chimp” system – so called because we share it with our hominid cousins. This part of our brain is in play when we act impulsively, without regard for the consequences. Our inner chimp is emotional, greedy and lazy and with us from birth. 2. The Human System We work with you individually to help you understand what is going on in your mind using The Chimp Model. Everyone is unique so we take the time to really understand you and your situation.
Your first reaction to not getting what you want is likely to be from your Chimp. Recognise what is happening and put it into words will help. Programme yours and a child’s computer with some helpful beliefs; ‘sometimes we have to be patient’, ‘life doesn’t always go to plan’ and ‘moaning doesn’t help.’ Habit 9: Learning to share Being fully present and actively listening to your child when they share something like this is so important. The science behind the habits is discussed in a practical way with exercises and activities to help children think the habits through and start putting them into practice. He has avoided the obvious pitfall of just blaming his chimp and, if anything, is better at taking responsibility for his actions. Again I would reiterate that if your daughter can see that this is a normal function of the mind that just needs some management she might see things differently.
Books by Professor Steve Peters
The 'problem' could be that as adults we try to thwart this powerful and sensible drive to conform with what is practical. Having said that, it's not a helpful drive if it's being overdone. So I do appreciate your frustration. For me, the children’s book is the star of the two. Written in comic book style, it uses very child-friendly language (my seven-year-old could read it with ease) and is clearly designed to be used over time rather than devoured in one sitting.
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