Perfection Kills

Product Information

Hiding behind toxic perfectionism is a huge amount of fear. It may even be hidden from the perfectionist. Though all their excuses may seem completely rational, hidden fear is their motivator.” – Ellen Bowers Perfectionism—the drive to achieve more, be more, and prove ourselves— can be so compelling that we feel driven to go, go, go. We can’t stop.” – Sharon Martin Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you got, and fix it along the way.” — Paul Arden Pervasive fear of failing is at the heart of unhelpful perfectionism and seems to drive most unhelpful behaviors. “Failure” can be a wide range of things such as making a mistake, being socially awkward, not being liked or loved enough, or not earning enough money. Fear of failure is generally more intense when other people might see you fail.” – Jennifer Kemp Like most great insights, it’s incredibly valuable. And also not always easy to fully internalize or implement.

When you struggle with unhelpful perfectionism, the threat system can become chronically overactive and the drive systems can swing between being underactive or overactive. Often the soothing system is chronically underactive. You can balance these systems by activating your soothing system using self-compassion. You can learn how to calm yourself and find new, kinder ways of relating to your struggle. When the soothing system is balanced with the threat and drive systems, you are able to feel motivated, prepared, alert, energized, and safe at the same time. Developing the skills of self-compassion can help you achieve this.” – Jennifer Kemp When you start on a creative task, if you’re focusing on being perfect, you’re wearing blinders, seeing only the need to be perfect. When doing this, you’re cutting off inspiration from unknown places; you’re automatically limiting yourself because creativity is messy, and perfectionism requires straight lines and smooth surfaces. Creativity has none of that.I’d like to also mention that I do extend Array.prototype in fabric.js with methods like forEach, map, every. I make sure those methods are spec-compliant, and I take a risk of conflicts with libraries that shim methods in non-compliant way. Methods that are non-standard, on the other hand, are defined under standalone utility object. I’m not worried much about inconsistency, since — unlike in underscore.js — there’s only a handful of shimmed methods. Perfectionism does not lead to creativity but self-loathing, and that spirals out of control. Instead of seeing the mistakes as a growth opportunity, the perfectionist turns that inward and changes “you’ve made a mistake” to “you are a mistake.” That mindset is not at all conducive to creative thought or action. If Fleming were hellbent on being perfect, we would never have this invention. He would return to his lab, see what was happening, freak out, throw it away because it was not perfect, and we’d all be popping zits while coughing up a lung. One of the best ways to combat this need for perfection is to forgive yourself. Know that you are not your mistakes, that you are human, mistakes are human, and they are valuable when you stop using them to beat yourself into submission. When we relate to ourselves with loving kindness, perfectionism naturally drops away.” — Sharon Salzberg

Striving for perfection is a good and worthwhile effort. Expecting to actually attain perfection can kill you.” — Laurence Bergreen Perfectionism keeps you busy chasing goals and avoiding mistakes. Yet, a meaningful and enriched life is not lived this way. Your unhelpful perfectionistic habits might help you avoid failure, but they don’t lead to a life that you love.” – Jennifer Kemp The way to overcome perfectionism at work is to separate your evaluation of yourself from your evaluation of your work. Your job is not to be perfect. Your job is to do good work. Too often, perfectionists rely on their own definitions of perfection, which is often stricter compared to the general view, and this results in constant working and reworking on the same thing. Don’t forget that writing proper, compliant shims is hard. When in doubt, use standalone object. When the method you’re shimming is part of the unfinished spec, use standalone object. Only when you’re certain about method compliance and method is part of the finished, future-proof specification, is it safe to shim native object directly. EnumerabilityPerfectionism can be an elusive difficulty to understand, as the American culture rewards hard work, commitment to results, putting in long hours, and high achievement. However, striving for excellence is different from striving for perfection. Perfection is hopeless; it is virtually unattainable.” – Ellen Bowers The losses will still feel bad, but the lessons will be helpful. And they won’t be as stark if you are celebrating lots of wins along the way. NOMINATED AND RATED #2 IN THE CATEGORY OF TOP 5 ‘OVERSEAS ARTIST OF THE YEAR’– BRITISH BLUES AWARDS, SEPTEMBER 2016 Perfectionism causes problems in relationships of all kinds. You may work so hard that your relationships suffer or find yourself married to your work rather than in a loving relationship. You may worry about how you look or what you say, stopping you from deeply connecting with others. Perhaps, you find it hard to take a risk to start a new relationship altogether. After all, what if it doesn’t work out? You might also worry about how other people see you and believe you are not good enough for your partner, friends, or colleagues. Plagued by self-doubt, you may crave reassurance, but it’s never enough.” – Jennifer Kemp

The seed of your next artwork lies embedded in the imperfections of your current piece.” — David Bayles Perfectionism has an element of compulsivity, and anything short of perfection is seen as a failure.” – Ellen BowersAs a perfectionist, you are often a people pleaser, wanting others to think highly of you. With your all-or-nothing thinking, you see yourself as “good” if people like you and “bad” if they don’t. And with people pleasing comes a lot of difficulty making decisions and avoiding important conversations, for fear that you’ll upset someone else. As such, your work is often crippled. 6. You’re highly critical of others. Perfectionists tend to screen out positive options, almost always focusing on the negative. Perfectionists sense a host of “shoulds” careening through their mind most of the time. Perfectionists adversely compare themselves to others and make many wrong assumptions, imagining that they can read minds and that others can read their minds. There are core beliefs of not being okay, not being valuable or lovable. The result is a lot of spinning wheels and wasted time and energy.” – Ellen Bowers