The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

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This is a short, practical guide to the best thinking about how to maintain sanity. (In brief: exercise, keeping a diary, and being a good friend -- none of which I do, incidentally. Make of that what you will.)

Aku sesungguhnya sudah tidak antusias dengan kehadiran Big Bad Wolf Indonesia. Ketika acara tersebut masih dihelat di ICE BSD, aku bahkan tidak menyempatkan diri untuk datang. Hingga akhirnya aku terpancing juga untuk melihat koleksi yang mereka tawarkan secara virtual melalui Tokopedia. Dari beragam buku non-fiksi, aku tidak menyangka akan menemukan buku ini. Serial The School of Life yang kerap aku lihat di rak Kinokuniya Plaza Senayan ternyata ada di BBW. A lovely read for those in need of instruction (ain't we all?) on how to observe your own feelings, actions, and work on personal growth by becoming more aware of yourself and others around you. Judulnya memang menarik. Kalau baca sinopsisnya, bisa ditaksir buku ini membahas tentang pengasuhan anak. Tapi kan aku nggak akan punya anak, why did I read this? Growing older and more frail allows us to see what it is that brings us joy and fulfilment, and generally it tends to be our relationships: relationships with family and friends, with neighbours and shopkeepers, but also with old books, paintings, possessions and ideas. Our inner rebel probably wants a bit of fun, maybe some romantic intrigue, some leisure of some sort. Find out what it wants and strike a bargain with it. If we don’t, our body will rebel.

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A friend gave me this book around eighteen months ago, and after a fairly traumatic 2015 I felt it was a good time to finally read it. When I try to discuss it with my dad, he says he would be “disappointed because I like telling people you are a teacher”. I have asked my own children about what they would like to do when they are grown-up and maybe I’ve unintentionally shown more approval when they lean towards something professional, but I now realise that all I want is for them to be happy. So, how do I find the courage to just be me, without a label? And how do I instil this in my daughters?

Conscious, curious and in good company seem to be the keys to a sane and probably happy life, but I want to focus more on the last chapter of the book which is called What’s the story? and is concerned with the patterns we have adopted to deal with different situations, the filters through which we look at the world. Sometimes those patterns serve us well, sometimes they lead us to a self-defeating behavior. We can brake those patterns when they don’t work in our best interest and edit our story. When thinking about this, a scene came into my mind – one of the most impressive scenes from an overall impressive movie – The Great Beauty. Rome’s intellectuals are sitting drinking on a rooftop discussing art and life. A beautiful mature woman is telling the story of her success. The main character Jeb is irritated by her arrogance and decides to put her down in front of their friends. He tells the same story, but it is glamorous no more. “Stefania, mother and woman, you’re 53 with a life in tatters like the rest of us. Instead of acting superior and treating us with contempt, you should look at us with affection. We’re all on the brink of despair. All we can do is look each other in the face, keep each other company, joke a little. Don’t you agree?" I enjoyed this little read, and the book presentation is cute and compact. The best chapter for me was the first and second, and material related to self-observation which was very useful. I also got a lot from the recommendations to journal.All behaviour is communication,” nods Perry. The whining child may simply be confused by change. When their daughter was little, Perry would take her swimming every week. One week, Grayson took Flo instead, and the experience was so different for the child in so many ways that, when he accidentally went to go up the wrong staircase, she just sat on the floor, and said: “No.” “We only figured out why because I’m a psychotherapist,” Perry adds. Perry shrugs – this is all work that she has undertaken herself. She has been facing up to the way she was parented since the age of 12. Her family was “good, kind, middle-class”, but raised children the way you’d “train a dog, with punishment rather than encouragement”. Ultimately, this damaged the young, sensitive Perry, and led her into therapy, and eventually a career in mental health. 'My parents didn’t comfort children because they thought children would just want to be upset more'

Buku ini terdiri dari 4 bab yang saling berhubungan: Self-Observation, Relationship, Stress, dan What's the Story. Dari masing-masing bab, pembaca diajak untuk "duduk" sejenak dengan dirinya sendiri. Maka dari itu, buku ini dimulai dengan pembahasan mengenai observasi mandiri terhadap diri kita. Yang apabila kita berhasil melakukan praktiknya (meskipun perlahan dan melalui tahapan), maka kita bisa mulai merawat hubungan kita dengan orang lain. Ujungnya, kita bisa menuturkan cerita yang optimis tentang diri kita sendiri. Tidak pesimis dan tidak menyalahkan lingkungan. Philippa Perry takes one look at me and gives me a bear-hug. “You must be exhausted,” she says, and she’s not wrong. As a working mother of two small boys who never seem to sleep or slow down, I have gone past exhausted, straight into “desiccated”. Perry smiles reassuringly, banging me on the arm.“Come on, let’s get you an avocado.” There is a final part to the book which suggests a series of exercises, ranging from mindful breathing and meditation, to chart making. The author has also included the titles of several books for further reading on this subject How to Stay Sane sejak awal sudah mengatakan bahwa tidak ada obat paling mujarab untuk setiap orang. Hal ini karena setiap manusia tumbuh di lingkungan dengan banyak variabel yang berbeda satu sama lain. Perlakuannya juga berbeda. Perry menuliskan buku ini dengan pandangan secara umum dari apa yang ia lakukan selama memberikan terapi kepada pasien. I enjoyed this book very much. One of the rare "self-help" psychotherapy titles which I did not feel was repetitive. Dr. Perry's narratives are relatable and her writing style down-to-earth.

I remember receiving a letter from a young woman despairing that her boyfriend had broken up with her, yet in the same letter she described their relationship as distant and judgmental, and their sex life as having “always been bad”. However, her family would regularly comment on “how happy they seemed”. We should try not to worry how things appear on the outside Philippa Perry Collection 2 Books Set (How To Stay Sane, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read [Hardcover]) Styling by Jo Jones; hair and makeup by Juliana Sergot using skincare by Dermalogica & Bumble & Bumble; fashion assistant Sam Deaman; photographer’s assistant Gabor Herczegfalvi