Resolution is the final stage of the four-phase model. However, Kerner’s explanation of the resolution stage departs from the traditional four-phase model by asserting that women may be able to restart the sexual response process from stage one almost immediately after stage four. This explanation of the resolution phase more closely aligns with the more recent circular model of sexual response. Once she’s adjusted to your finger, you can curl it up toward her belly button in a “come here” motion and press against the vaginal ceiling with your fingertip—this will stimulate her internal clitoral nerves. Once she’s adjusted, you can insert your middle finger as well. While you do this, you can integrate a more advanced move by pressing your hand to her mons pubis and pushing slightly upward—this will expose the clitoral head and make her more sensitive to your tongue strokes.

Shorform note: While Kerner says your partner will need a short cool-down period before being ready for sexual stimulation again, experts explain that this isn’t the case for all women. While most women do need a short refractory period, some are able to have something called “rolling orgasms”—these are orgasms that lead seamlessly into one another. So rather than moving on to focus on other parts of her body after her orgasm, she may want you to maintain clitoral stimulation.) When your session is over, make sure to give your female partner proper aftercare. Whereas men are usually tired after orgasm and want to sleep, women want to maintain intimacy. To sustain and deepen your sexual relationship, spend 10-15 minutes cuddling or talking. Using your tongue may be the best way to satisfy a woman, but due to the complexity of the clitoris, there’s definitely an art to getting it right. As an author and a coach who has been helping women for more than a decade, I noticed some women were in trouble. Not just in their relationships, some had unfulfilling jobs, didn’t get paid what they were worth, had always dreamt of starting their own business but never did, felt lonely even though they had a husband and kids... the list goes on and on. So many women try to be the perfect girlfriends, wives, mothers, friends, sisters, colleagues, business owners, bosses, and more. They love to serve and want to succeed in the many roles they have to play. They are compliant, even to the people who don’t really deserve that kind of treatment. They give it all they have, every single day.The essential guidebook to oral sex, She Comes First offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women Researchers from Northwestern University explain that rhythmic activity causes us to enter a trance-like state where the combination of intense focus and repeated motion forms neural pathways (highways for nerve signals) between different parts of the brain. They theorize that rhythm is what causes orgasm because with each repeated motion, neural pathways are extended and nerve signals reach further and further until the orgasmic threshold is reached. However, research in the area is very limited and this theory has yet to be proven.

Ever feel a book rambles on, giving anecdotes that aren't useful? Often get frustrated by an author who doesn't get to the point? As soon as you place the first kiss upon her vulva, you break the boundary between foreplay and coreplay. Therefore, you should save this move till last. Kerner defines foreplay as everything that comes before clitoral stimulation. He explains that stimulating your female partner before touching her clitoris is necessary because women require anticipation to become properly aroused. Forgotten the title or the author of a book? Our BookSleuth is specially designed for you. Visit BookSleuthSentence-Summary: She Comes First is sex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner’s guide to improving sex by emphasizing the female orgasm, explaining why changing your mindset about sex and focusing on the stimulation of the right places in the right ways can be more enjoyable than intercourse for both men and women. You need to know about the ten highly sensitive spots of the clitoris if you want to get sexual stimulation on a woman right:

The First Assurance is to remember that you receive an equal amount of enjoyment from the act of going down on her. When you perform cunnilingus, you’re delaying your own gratification for good reason. When sex doesn't revolve around penetration, you’re free to stop stressing about issues such as size, stamina and performance. Some argue that the G-spot is in the vagina and that’s where the best orgasms happen. But the G-spot is actually part of the clitoris, and the reason it sets of pleasure signals is because it gets stimulated during intercourse.

While Kerner extended the amount of time the foreplay process lasts before sex, some experts now define foreplay as an ongoing process or cycle that continues throughout a relationship—it begins after the last orgasm, continues until the next one, and then starts again immediately after. This is because instead of conceptualizing foreplay as a set of arousing activities and behaviors that come before sex, as Kerner and many others do, they view foreplay as the mood you live in with your partner and an energy that runs through your relationship.