Quote from the Book I Liked - 'Because looking into someone's eyes for longer than 3 seconds reminds you that we're not meant to do life alone.' (Loc. 231) There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship It’s time to reframe the narrative of being single and embrace what I learned when I finally chose to be alone: There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship? These were the thoughts sprinting through my mind as panic set in. But I had to tell myself I was choosing it. It was a decision that I don’t usually make, and I had to believe I would come out the other side better because of it. That’s what breaking a pattern looks like. Not just for me, but for all the clients I would go on to help. That was the fuel for me, the 92 octane. So I did it. And I am not going to lie. It was hard. Like, addiction recovery hard. But I took it a day at a time, like they say in the meetings. And slowly but surely, it got easier. Not only did it get easier, I became different. Things started shifting on the inside. I started to grow.

I was in a nine-year relationship with someone verbally abusive. Then another one that was a nightmare, well, not in the beginning, but you know...

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After my divorce, I asked myself what I needed. I went to the bench a lot. I ate out at diners. I leased a roadster convertible and revved the shit out of it through the canyons blasting obnoxious music and wearing no shirt. And didn’t care. I took myself to the movies. Went on long walks. Pour myself into my passions. Started writing again. I needed to treat myself well. Better. I needed to do things for myself and not feel guilty about them. I also pushed my body harder than I ever have before. I needed to feel alive. I needed to like who I was. I will not be with someone who doesn’t take care of themselves, ie. physical, emotional, spiritual, health I will not be with someone who does not champion my passions, my growth, my story and respect what I stand for Healthy used to mean going to the gym for a couple hours and lifting weights. Today, healthy means so much more to me. Healthy means a good balanced diet. But being okay with a donut once in a while. Healthy means therapy to process shit. Healthy means quality time with friends. Healthy means cheat days. Healthy means cutting negative people out of my life. Surrounding myself with people who accept me and champion my story. Healthy means connecting, accepting, and loving my body. But to also practice discipline and push my body further than I think I can. Healthy means to sweat daily. Healthy means great sex that makes my blood flow and my heart race. Healthy means to stretch. Health means to distance myself from the thoughts that drain me and throw me into yesterday. Healthy means to stop future trippin’. Healthy means giving myself what I need. Allowing myself to feel. Healthy means being kind to myself. Healthy means drawing boundaries. Healthy means feeding my brain. Constantly. Healthy means practicing kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude. Healthy means meditation. Healthy means to get outside and feel the sun on my face. Sand on my toes. Healthy means a gas tank in between my legs. Healthy means naps. Healthy means self-care. Healthy is a lifestyle. Technically my ex as of yesterday. I realized on a retreat at Joshua Tree. Yes, I was on mushrooms, but I had this revelation. I was only with him because it made sense. I’ve never really been attracted to him, and it’s not fair to him.

I have mixed feelings about this book. There is some solid advice and insight related to working through codependency, prioritizing a relationship with yourself, and cultivating intentional, connecting, non-romantic relationships. However, there was an underlying contradictory message that if you take these actions, you will attract a healthier love. Kim is raw and vulnerable, sharing things most professionals in his field probably wouldn't share about themselves. His insecurities, his flaws, things he has tried, desired and abused that are taboo or untraditional. It is refreshing because it reminds you, we are all so human.So what does that look like to make it about you? Here are three things I did after my divorce that repositioned me and allowed me to become a better version of myself. The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope. I pro a ly should have realized that an author that calls himself the "Angry Therapist" would be way too negative for me. He was.

After a painful divorce, "The Angry Therapist" John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled. Plot Summary - No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled. My Review - This book came in right when It was needed most in my life. Not because of any relationship issues but because I felt a loss of connection with myself. Let me tell you at the utmost that this book is not about singlehood or specifically for people not in a relationship with another human. This book is about bonding with oneself. No matter the reader is single or in a relationship or anything. The book talks about how important it is for oneself to have a real connection with themselves before having anything with someone else. No matter the status of the relationship, one must know, understand and prioritize their own relationship with their inner self than any other. That's how one can rejoice in every other bond. And that's what made me attracted to this book. I too agree with the thing about our relationship with self-being the most prioritised relation than any other in our life. A few chapters did feel bonkers and the reader is the one to either adapt or trash them. The quotes, the life experiences of the author and his patients is what gave this book a real-life catalogue of stories that can be related here and their by us. This thing made the book much more unique and relatable by me and probably to you too if you choose to read so. May it be a hard break up or lonely singlehood or happily ever after a relationship or joyfully singlehood, I recommend this book to all those feeling a bit lost and trying to find themselves in the hush and bush of everything. This book gives you the confidence to rediscover your identity and start building a life that is yours. It helps you think about who you were before the pressures of society, your family and your partner came in and told you how to be. It zooms out of the scene that is your current situation and says, remember you have a WHOLE life. Let's fill it with experiences that make you feel alive, that actually count as 'living' and not just existing. Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS "self-help in a shot glass" approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.

The importance of sitting into your body, exploring activities or movement that make you feel most like yourself, ie. For John it was tapping into his inner child via motorcycle rides and adrenaline rush. Find moments of peace throughout your day to body scan and clear out cobwebs of frustration or lower frequency vibes Lumia is an immersive life coach certification for impact-driven people to launch a meaningful coaching business. Amy Brown is a Meditation Teacher and Certified Mindfulness and Life Coach specializing in relationships. She works globally with individuals who want to navigate their breakup or divorce in a respectful, mindful and conscious way, so they can heal, move forward to new healthy relationships, and ultimately thrive. Whether you've embraced the advice in Single on Purpose or are just discovering Kim's ideas, 31 Days of Single on Purpose can help you transform being single into a joyous, exciting period of personal growth filled with memories, deep work, play, forgiveness, and freedom.

Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways:Well, that’s a lot to work on. I know. And it’s easier to read something than to actually implement it into action. But hopefully, it gives you some encouragement, sense of direction so you don’t feel like you’re swimming in the vast ocean. Some days are going to be easy and some impossible. That's where self-compassion comes in.' (Loc. 572)