The Unexpected Joy of Being Single: Locating unattached happiness

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Catherine Gray went through all of this. And then some. She took a whole year off dating to get her love-hooked head straight. How do we chill our boots about our single status? Detach from 'all the good ones are gone!' panic? And de-programme from urgent, red, heart-shaped societal pressure to find your 'other half * '? We know intellectually that single is far preferable to panic-settling, yet we forget that almost constantly. Why? Psychologists and neuroscientists tell us? Let's start the reverse-brainwash and locate our happily-single sanity, for good. Are you in? I really enjoyed Catherine Gray's writing style in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, so I read this. I’m not single, but I could be at any given time (as could we all) and there's good stuff in here about how bizarre our fixation on coupling up and reproducing are as well as how destructive these societal pressures can be for those who choose or have remained single. In the quest to find out more about the author, Catherine Gray and her book, we came across a podcast where she speaks with Eric Zimmer at The One You Feed. We learn Catherine lives alone in a one bedroom apartment in Brighton. In this podcast, she talks about The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single and what it has been like to be single for many years. The ups and downs, her own personal journey and the misconceptions of others surrounding single life. The podcast gives us a taste of what to expect from the book which is also available in audio, narrated by Catherine herself. The heart of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single is Gray’s story of how she got from being a love addict and romantic cliché to feeling proud of her single life and confident that hers will be a happy life no matter how long her singlehood lasts.

single anxiety. Love addiction. Spending hours scrolling through dating apps. Being inconsolable when he/she doesn't text. Humming 'Here Comes the Bride' when they do. This book is a reminder that life can be pretty shit, but it can also be pretty great as well if we’re willing to look at things differently. If you’ve felt like your life is complete chaos (particularly after a break-up), then this book is an excellent reminder that everyone has uphill battles to face. Sometimes it helps to know you’re not going through it alone, and as cheesy as it sounds — things will get better. we’re held up by the scaffolding of the stories we tell ourselves. Without that scaffolding, we feel insecure, wobbly, like we’re a building that’s about to rumble to the ground.” The thing stopping you? Keeping you single? Standards. Free will. It's really important to remember that single is a choice; you're not a put-upon victim who can't get a date." Next time someone asks me why I am single, I will be answering with, "Standards! Free will!" Over half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single. It's become the norm to remain solo until much later in life, given the average marriage ages of 35 (women) and 38 (men). Many of us are choosing never to marry at all.

Remember when you wanted what you have now

In the Community of Single People, someone just asked if anyone had read Catherine Gray’s book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single. I reviewed it a few years ago, but since that review is no longer available online, I’m sharing it here. “The Unexpected Joy of Being Single,” by Catherine Gray That is so true when you think about,” says Catherine. “A year ago I really wanted to live on my own, I was done with house-sharing and I wanted furniture so that I could feel like an adult. Now I have these things, but of course now I'm thinking ‘I want to buy a flat’, and ‘I want to make my flat look like Soho House’. You forget that what you have now is what you always wanted. And you made it happen! So you need to consciously remind yourself.” How to Identify Smartphone Dependency, Stop Compulsive Behavior and Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Devices It’s not a self help book, but a collection of statistics and evaluations and personal experiences which are so relatable. Sophie Tanner embraces ‘sologamy’, the act of marrying oneself. Photograph: Image provided by Sophie Tanner

Catherine Gray quotes from Jennifer Taitz's: "How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate ( https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...) :- "At any moment, we can choose a new action, and create new patterns of behaviour that link to our hopes. Our past doesn't need to dictate our future".Most of life is workaday, humdrum and pedestrian. So why not embrace the joy of the ordinary? We've got nothing to lose. In 2018, the author Catherine Gray published a book about how her search for happiness had led her to take a year off dating. And what did she call it? The Unexpected Joy of Being Single. Having a secret single freak-out? Feeling the red, heart-shaped urgency intensify as the years roll on by? Oh hi! You're in the right place. My alcohol dependence and my love addiction prop each other up, like a smashed people trying to walk home from a party. My drinking enables me to secure boyfriends, and when it falls apart, my drinking is there to console me, or to catapult me on to the next conquest. A brilliant, honest, well-written guide to the positive aspects of being single drawing on the author's own life experiences and observations. The author pinpoints the many advantages of being single whilst offering her guidance on navigating the pitfalls. I found her suggested approach to dating particularly relevant and helpful.