No Matter What

Product Information

The little fox in this book starts out feeling grumpy when her/his parent is on the phone, ignoring her/him, and this sets the stage for the little fox to ask for reassurance and to find out that she/he will be loved, no matter what. Gliori’s (The Snow Lambs, Pure Dead Magic) rhyming text is sweet and reassuring; the parent fox always has a loving, reassuring answer to give the child. The first two examples are easy to see why a child might feel they need reassurance that they’ll still be loved–feeling awful and/or acting out when feeling grumpy or angry (grim and grumpy, and grumpy and grizzly bear). The next two examples were not as immediately clear to me, and didn’t feel as strongly written. After some thought, I realized that “squishy bug” and the child worrying if they’ll still get a hug might mean if the child was feeling unlovable–but I wish that connection were stronger. Still, a child needing reassurance that they will still be loved is a universal need. Picture books that are reassuring can help soothe a child, help them know that they are loved–or should be loved. I think they can have great benefit. No Matter What by Debi Gliori is one of those books. For those who already know the author through her adoption blog the brilliance of this book will come as no surprise... Sally Donovan seems to write as naturally as the rest of us breathe, with an eloquence and honesty that makes "No Matter What" totally absorbing. She has a fantastic story to tell that not only speaks to those who have their own adoption experiencer but to any reader who has an interest in rich, articulate personal stories and wants an insight into the life of a normal adoptive family... Much of what Sally writes will be all too familiar to other adoptive parents by the humanity, intelligence and humor of the writing captures the reality of adoptive family life in a truly enthralling way. With great humility Sally shares her journey of courage, hope and persistence in boldly loving her children despite the odds, no matter what...Throughout the book I laughed and cried, experiencing the highs and lows of loving children who have lived the unthinkable. For too long adopters walked this journey very much alone. We must now accompany them on this journey, in our neighbourhoods, communities and cities, and within our education, social care and health services. Together we can make a difference; each life is precious, however fragile and different. No Matter What communicates this truth, and is an important contribution at this time of policy change. Large and Small are completely genderless. This makes the story fit with any kind of parent/child or grandparent/child or relative/child or grown-up/child pairing you might have upon reading it.

No Matter What (an extract) - whiteballoon No Matter What (an extract) - whiteballoon

Louise Michelle Bombèr, Adoption Support Teacher for Brighton and Hove, Attachment Support Teacher Therapist for The Yellow Kite Attachment Support Service

About Debi Gliori

We learn from Sally that adopting children who have suffered neglect and abuse, requires not only resilient parents but expert advice, support and understanding from a range of professionals and from family and friends. Every time I say that I am through with reading self-help books, then another one falls into my lap. In the most modest, refreshing and unassuming way, Sally gives a voice to everyone struggling with infertility or learning to parent traumatised children. This book is a triumph in so many ways.

No Matter What | Jessica Kingsley Publishers - UK

In No Matter What Sally has written about her adoption journey in a way which enables us to walk in her shoes and those of her children and which is informative and humbling. Anyone associated with children in the care system in any capacity could only benefit from reading this outstanding book. I am, and will remain, totally in awe of Sally and her husband Rob. Their empathy and resilience is sure to inspire anyone who reads this book, particularly those thinking about adopting a child. Her approach to self-growth is so powerful, that I realized I've been neglecting myself way too much all this while and now I need to thank this book for waking me up to start 'doing myself' first, only by doing so I can serve my purpose and enrich others. A lot of authors use their own stories as a means of example and this one is no different. Ms. Nichols has gone through her share of difficulties and bad experiences on the road to becoming who she is today. What stood out for me is that she grew up in southern Los Angeles (formerly known as South Central) and her difficulties and bad experiences are similar to ones that I and people I have known have also gone through. Lisa snapped out of her misery and decided to own her problems so she could do something about them. And she did. Normally, when this happens, the rest as they say becomes history and people go on to make it big in the area of motivational speaking and use their story as a reference point: throw in the sexual molestation she experienced at age five, and the picture is complete. This is the ordinary model and of course Lisa was also sexually molested when she was only five!

LoveReading4Kids Says

This book should be compulsory reading for potential adoptive parents and for those professionals who touch their lives and pretend to understand what the whole experience is about. Sally Donovan's account touches upon the depth of despair, unbearable strain on a small family unit, incompetent or insensitive professionals, and fairly non-existent support. And yet it is full of optimism and hope for the human spirit. Tal Ben-Shahar (Hebrew: טל בן-שחר‎, also known as Tal David Ben-Shachar) is an Israeli teacher and writer in the areas of positive psychology and leadership.

No Matter What by Sally Donovan | Waterstones

I love how positive psychology expert Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar explains his reasoning for the title of this book. He claims that there is no such thing as happily ever after, but that we can continuously learn how to become happier, no matter what. His approach involves self-reflection and experimentation to improve our wellbeing in five areas: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. He refers to this approach as Climbing the SPIRE, which I think is a very helpful mnemonic. Tl;dr - This book is very lauded. I thought it was pretty good, especially the little touches Gliori makes on the illustrations. However, for grief books I'd look elsewhere. Nichols' books is divided into 9 steps, or "muscles". These are muscles that when developed can help to to navigate life's ups and downs more effectively. Having read a lot of books like this, I really like the muscle concept. When you work out your physical muscles, you don't get results right away. But through diligent work they get more developed and therefore more effective. The same can be said of the 9 muscles that Lisa Nichols outlines: Understanding, Faith-in-Myself, Take-Action, I-Know-Like-I-Know, Honesty, Say-Yes, Determination, Forgiveness, and Highest Choice. Just cute little foxy touches that make the story that much better, more interesting, and more enjoyable. No Matter What is by a long way the best account ever written of the experience of being an adoptive parent and carer of children traumatised by maltreatment. With heart-wrenching candour, it tells the story of a couple's journey through the pain of childlessness, the adoption process, and the lived experience of caring for Jaymey and Harlee whose early lives were 'almost unbearable to read about'. Sally Donovan evokes brilliantly the commitment, energy, therapeutic skill and humanity required to care for and heal children whose past abuse has left them distressed, feeling unworthy and acting out in often chaotic ways. This remarkable book is not only a major contribution to work on child welfare; such is the sheer power and brilliance of the writing that it triumphs as a work of literature, as art. Utterly compelling and humane, No Matter What is essential reading for all those who care for and about vulnerable children, adoption and fostering and who are open to being inspired by the healing power of love.Not a big fan of self-help book myself but this one is exceptional. Found out about Lisa from her powerful speeches available online and from thereon I knew she'd be my go-to reference in the subject of "dream big". Everyone should read this funny and deeply moving account of modern adoption: the highs, the lows, the risks and the rewards. Sally's writing is honest, insightful and beautiful to read. I've watched Lisa Nichols light up rooms and inspire thousands for years. As a featured teacher in The Secret, she explained the Law of Attraction, but now, for the first time, she reveals her own secret to the Law of No Matter What . Read this book, and learn to create the things in life you believed were out of reach." -- Marci Shimoff, bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and featured teacher in The Secret I found this book almost unbearably moving and, ultimately, uniquely uplifting. I have never before read, in a single book, such a compelling portrait of the horrors of child neglect and its consequences, alongside a portrait of the historical inadequacies of adoption assessment and post adoption support. This is a staggeringly vivid account of a heroic struggle by heroic adopters to heal the deep scars of neglect and abuse. I cannot recommend it warmly enough. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in personal growth and experiencing more wellbeing. As I was reading, I kept thinking of people I would love to gift a copy to.