All New Dad Jokes: The SUNDAY TIMES bestseller from the Instagram sensation @DadSaysJokes

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Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Want more? What about Dad Joke Puns? I hope you’re still looking for more because we got more funny dad jokes for you! Go ahead and start telling dad jokes! Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!”

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One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.” A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.” A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What do you want?" The man says, "Oh, just some fruit punch." The bartender sighs and shakes his head, "If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line." The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

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Shiv: Sharpening · Health: Splinting · Shiv: Reinforcement · Melee: Knots · Molotov: Construction · Bomb: Containment · Melee: Techniques · Smoke: Chemistry · Health: Sterilization · Molotov: Deployment · Smoke: Shaping · Bomb: Shrapnel My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.

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What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

Dad Jokes About Food

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” If you’ve ever had a father (or currently are one), you don’t need me to explain a Dad Joke. To paraphrase US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when expounding on how to identify pornography in 1964, you’ll know it when you see it.

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I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. "No," I said. "It's to look at." My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March. I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic...It’s called the Plaguestation 5. Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”Did you hear Bruce Springsteen changed the lyrics to one of his songs? What’s he going to change next—his hair? His clothes? His face?