First you make room for your feelings and allow them to be exactly as they are. Then you ask, "What can I do right now that is truly meaningful or important?" The main goal is to engage in meaningful activities, no matter how you feel. Must practice connection, like building muscles--the more you practice, the more strength you have to change your life. When I got into self-help books, I had two problems I wanted to solve: how to become likable and how to solve an addiction I'd had since I was 13-years-old. The books were able to help with the first, but nothing I tried worked with the addiction. That was until I started seeing a psychologist trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Essentially, ACT suggests that there is no way to eliminate pain in life, so learning to accept it and channel your energy into activities that have value to you leaves you more prepared to live effectively and without a lot of wasted time fighting reality.

When the switch is on, we are completely unwilling to accept the presence of these uncomfortable feelings, which means not only do we get distressed by them, we also do whatever we can to avoid or get rid of them (turning to control strategies, which are ok in moderation but problematic in excess). I’m not saying ACT is worthless, that all of it is stolen, or that it should be discarded in favor of more religiously and culturally traditional practices. I *am* saying that instead of distancing ACT from obvious Eastern connections, it would seem more appropriate to deliberately and respectfully highlight the connections, give credit where credit is due, and *then* point out that it’s possible to utilize some of these ancient practices with modern Western cues, in a non-religious way in service of our mental health (as Easterners figured out, like, forever ago). In the book, The Happiness Trap, as you’ve probably guessed by now, we are far more interested in the second meaning of happiness than in the first. Letting the radio play on without giving it much attention is very different from actively trying to ignore it.” – p. 66Despite everything you’ve tried over the years, isn’t it a fact that your mind still produces unpleasant pictures?” – p. 75 Additionally, the way that Harris describes the underlying theory of ACT sure sounds a lot like Buddhist philosophy, even though it hasn’t been labeled as such. Life is pain; non-attachment is the solution; the importance of mindfulness; the benefit of breath work… This all starts to feel a lot like cultural appropriation and philosophical plagiarism. In fact, the harder we pursue pleasurable feelings, the more we are likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. The other meaning of happiness is ‘a rich, full and meaningful life’.

I don’t think most people believe THESE myths. I think they believe truths that are very closely related to these that get twisted. Dr Russ Harris is a medically-qualified doctor, stress consultant, executive coach, trainer, author, and a leading authority in the powerful new paradigm of Psychological Flexibility. (This is a revolutionary new development in human psychology that enhances performance, reduces stress, and improves health and wellbeing.) Dr Russ regularly presents workshops on Psychological Flexibility at both national and international psychology conferences, and has a thriving business traveling around Australia running training seminars for psychologists, coaches and a variety of health professionals. What is ACT? The acronym also stands for the process Accept your internal experience; Choose a values-based direction; Take action! It has proven effective with depression and addiction.Connection: Staying fully aware of the present moment and letting yourself experience the present moment with openness, interest, and receptiveness