What followed was a mix of feelings. I was proud of letting go of an outdated rule, while at the same time feeling ashamed for breaking my promise and “being unprofessional.” Blinkist’s summary of Brené Brown‘s I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)helped me understand myself a bit better. I hope it’ll do the same for you the next time you feel ashamed. Brown, B. (2007). I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough”. New York, USA: Penguin. And I can see why I struggle with shame - it's hard to even share that synopsis, knowing that nobody wants to touch messy feelings of shame in any way. This book offers information, insight and specific strategies for understanding shame and building "shame resilience." We can never become completely resistant to shame; however, we can develop the resilience we need to recognize shame, move through it constructively and grow from our experiences." pg xiv

I Thought It Was Just Me but It Isnt: Making the Journey from

I wanted to love this book because I love Brene Brown. Her podcast interviews with Tammie Simon and Krista Tippett as well as her TED talks have inspired me, changed me and touched me deeply. I find her to be an incredibly inspiring and courageous woman and I believe her research on Shame and vulnerability and full hearted living are changing and healing the world.Now, we need to underline that there are no universal causes of shame. Everyone connects the feeling with his or her own negative experiences from the past. Reacting to Shame

I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Accept Your Flaws - Pickyreads I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Accept Your Flaws - Pickyreads

Now, hunger is an easy one, because it’s mostly physical, imagine how complex the situation becomes when you try to understand shame. In her initial research, Brené Brown interviewed over 300 people, after which she arrived at the following definition: In her research, Brené found that when people don’t recognise their shame and the expectations and messages that trigger shame, we put up shame screens. A shame screen is a defence mechanism that we use to protect ourselves as it triggers our primal fight, flight and freeze response. It means we either – This is easy to understand, as when we are hurt; we frequently become angry with the ones who have hurt us. Or when we’re embarrassed, anger is a tempting and easy way out. Blaming others feels good at the moment, and it gives the impression of regaining control by taking action, but we all know how that ends: you regret your outburst, realize it was your fault all along, and you wind up feeling much worse. The power of vulnerability: Brown argues that vulnerability is the key to overcoming shame, and highlights the importance of being open and honest about one's experiences and emotions.

Now the part of the book that I was constantly feeling weird about was actually how much negativity it brought into my mind, of course awareness is good, but as I am listening to this, I'm constantly hearing first person stories ie. "I am not enough", "I don't deserve love" etc. I understand that this is to hear another persons perspective, but I have been listening to a lot of Positive Affirmations lately and also realising the Power of the 'I am' statements, listening to this book made me a little wary of what my subconscious was taking in. we grow and change and become better people than we were yesterday and the day before. Go read some Brene Brown, she’ll tell […] However, Brené does not condemn anger. She claims it’s a helpful emotion, but only when it’s being used to mask another. There’s a reason for this widespread reaction. People tend to point fingers when they don’t want to face their feelings; hence anger and shame are linked. This is, at its root, a technique for people to reclaim control over their “weak” feelings by demonstrating strength. Sharing our shame with someone is painful, and just sitting with someone who is sharing his or her shame story with us can be equally painful." pg 147 In “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)” , bestselling author Brené Brown shows us the importance of our imperfections in building healthy relationships with others and with our own selves.

I Thought It Was Just Me Reading Guide - Brené Brown

I'm in two minds about this audiobook. First of all of I am a big fan of Brown, so it was a little disappointing to start listening and realise that someone else was reading it (she was great... I just found that I really enjoyed listening to the passion in Browns voice, she almost becomes a friend through her books in a weird way). We will become more alienated if we allow ourselves to become caught in a perpetual avoidance of our genuine feelings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and seek the empathy you need to heal rather than become a victim of these destructive behaviors. On a more positive note, Brown writes everyone has experienced this at some point or another. She uses this universality of experience to issue a clarion call for change. To foster shame resilience, we should build networks of support and be kind to each other by showing our own vulnerability. We're all in this together.Brené Brown is a bestselling author and a research professor at the University of Houston. Her TEDXHouston Talk is one of the videos with the highest number of views on TED.com. “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) Summary” An affirming, revealing examination of the painful effects of shame—with new, powerful strategies that promise to transform a woman’s ability to love, parent, work, and build relationships. To be able to overcome shame, you must first understand what causes it, regardless of how it manifests itself. Now is the time to emphasize the fact that there are no universal sources of shame. Everyone associates the sensation with his or her own terrible past experiences. I thought it was just me is a wholesome book for anyone who ever feels feared, shamed, criticized, and blamed. The book’s main tenets teach how to turn your insecurities into powers and strength. Understand and become aware of shame We recommend this book to people who look for the roots of their shame, for those who get angry for no reason, and those who want to work on their empathy skills. About Brené Brown

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) - Brené Brown

There are plenty of uncomfortable topics of conversation that most of us will try to steer clear of, but one subject that people particularly loathe discussing is the emotion of shame. As a result, many of us don’t have a proper understanding of what it really is. Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging. Women often experience shame when they are entangled in a web of layered, conflicting and competing social-community expectations. Shame creates feelings of fear, blame and disconnect.” (p.29) .Researcher Brené Brown gives readers another self help title on how to handle the difficult emotion called shame. This book, for me, was like how it is in college when you take your first class in psych and suddenly you see psychosis everywhere. I see shame and shaming everywhere now - in how people comment on the internet, talk about politics, treat kids, work together, tell stories about themselves... It really does pervade everything. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, USA: Penguin.