Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

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FOR HER Self-shagging with a washing machine Loading the washing machine and switching it on 10 calories Sitting on it during the fastest spin cycle 30 calories Ironing the clothes afterwards 30 calories
TOTAL: 70 calories
11 Shagging - faking orgasm Shagging - real orgasm Shagging - telephone sex Extra calorific benefits of shagging Negative calorific aspects of shagging Shagging diary FOR HER Shagging - like a celebrity Finding a man so much younger than you that you’d be too embarrassed to introduce him to your friends 70 calories Doing it in the garden so that the paparazzi can photograph you 100 calories Enrolling at a clinic to treat your sex addiction 40 calories
TOTAL: 210 calories
83 FOR HIM Shagging - a nervous virgin Spending three days giving her foreplay and still she won’t relax 500 calories Trying to persuade her that you’re the best person to lose her cherry to 20 calories Giving up and heading into the loo for a wank instead 50 calories
TOTAL: 570 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable Way to Lose Weight

If you’re blessed with curly hair, then the shag haircut is ideal. With cut layers added to provide definition and give shape so your curls don’t get weighed down, plus softness through the ends, you can enjoy all-day volume and bounce in an instant. If you want to enhance your curls even further, use a texturizing product likea salt spray or sea salt gel. 5. Modern Shag Haircut FOR HER Shagging - the wheelbarrow position Getting down on all fours and pointing your arse up at him 10 calories Letting him lift your legs so your weight is all on your hands 30 calories Collapsing forwards onto your arms as he tries to roger you from behind 10 calories
TOTAL: 50 calories
95 FOR HER Preparing for a shag Trying on 15 different outfits, none of which disguise your extra pounds 20 calories Squeezing your arse into tiny trousers meant for a 10 year old 5 calories Taking it all off again now that you’ve seduced him 10 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
21 FOR HIM Shagging - your teacher Reading her your crappy poems to seduce her 10 calories Indulging in sexual techniques you never dreamed were possible 250 calories Trying to chat up your replacement teacher after the first one gets fired for shagging you 10 calories
TOTAL: 270 calories
66FOR HER Shagging - up the arse Recoiling in horror when you realise what he’s doing 10 calories Letting him give you one right up there whilst wondering whether to mention your diarrhoea problem 40 calories Apologising to him while he washes everything in the room twice. 5 calories
TOTAL: 55 calories
65 FOR HER Finding a shag partner in the gym Twenty minutes on the treadmill getting ignored by everyone 300 calories 10 minutes on the bike getting ignored by everyone 150 calories Giving up and staggering home 50 calories
TOTAL: 500 calories
19 FOR HIM Shagging - in front of a romantic fire Chopping the romantic wood 200 calories Lighting the romantic firelighters 10 calories Shagging her on a nice rug whilst keeping an eye on the romantic flames in case they die down 200 calories
TOTAL: 410 calories
88 FOR HER Shagging - a nervous virgin Wondering why you’re bothering to go to bed with such a nerd in the first place 10 calories Intimidating him with your sexual confidence and experience 20 calories Telling him it’s quite normal to ejaculate before he’s even got his pants off 10 calories
TOTAL: 40 calories
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Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable W FREE Goer, Imah : Shag Yourself Slim: The Most Enjoyable W FREE

The link between sex and slimming is simple: a good hard rogering burns calories. If you roger hard enough then that’s enough exercise to lose weight. But do you know how much weight you’ll burn up? Which positions offer the greatest slimming opportunities? Where to find a fellow slimmer willing to work with you? No, nor did I. But that’s why I researched this book. Well, that and the offer of fifty quid and a FOR HIM Safe shagging - loose condoms Unwrapping the condom 10 calories Slipping on a condom that’s embarrassingly loose and blaming the room temperature 5 calories Groping yourself repeatedly during the performance to try to hold the condom in place 20 calories
TOTAL: 35 calories
26 FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Taking a shower or bath even though you weren’t due to have one for another week 10 calories Brushing your teeth and flossing and using mouthwash 5 calories Trying on kinky underwear 10 calories
TOTAL: 25 calories
FOR HER Self-shagging with a banana Walking to the supermarket 45 calories Peeling, inserting and shagging the banana 5 calories Spending ages trying get bits of semi-dissolved banana out of your twat 10 calories
TOTAL: 60 calories
15 FOR HER Shagging - a sheep Putting on several sets of false breasts to attract a male sheep 20 calories Letting your chosen ruminant mammal take you from behind 30 calories Running away from the excited farmer 300 calories
TOTAL: 350 calories
69Now, I normally wouldn’t, not at all, but considering how hard I’ll be working very soon, no harm in indulging in a few jammy dodgers. And a Victoria sponge. What the hell, I’ll just balance out with some savoury: dorritos with salasa. After all, I can afford to munch while I read, because, very soon I’m going to be shagging myself all the way slim. Phoar.

Shag Yourself Slim By Imah Goer | Used | 9781905102037

FOR HIM Preparing for a shag Undoing her bra with one hand 5 calories Removing her arse from too-tight jeans with the help of some margarine and a team of firemen 20 calories Shaking hands with the firemen as they leave 5 calories
TOTAL: 30 calories
22 FOR HER Shagging - a desperate virgin Explaining what foreplay is for whilst holding him away from you 5 calories Enjoying a full 30 seconds of foreplay from him before he gets down to it 20 calories Enjoying a further 30 seconds of full-blown bonking before he explodes 40 calories
TOTAL: 65 calories
73 The pixie shag haircut is a great style for women who want a low-maintenance hairstyle. This style is characterized by short, choppy layers that are cut into various angles. The end result will be a textured pixie cut that is full of volume and movement. You can wear your hair curly, wavy, or straight. 14. Shag Haircut for Straight Hair Foreplay - kissing Foreplay - nibbling Foreplay - stimulating Foreplay - golden shower Foreplay - bondage Foreplay - S & M Foreplay - M & S Foreplay - whilst driving Foreplay - oral Foreplay - 69 Shagging - doggy style Shagging - missionary Shagging - in the car Shagging - on the car bonnet Shagging - at the movies Shagging - her on top Shagging - in a porn film Shagging - silently Shagging - noisily Shagging - a prostitute Shagging - a client Shagging - up the arseFOR HER Shagging - silently Lying still, not needing to fake enjoyment 5 calories Bracing your arms against the wall to muffle the bed’s vibrations 60 calories Worrying that your friends will think you’re having an epileptic fit and storm in to save you 10 calories
TOTAL: 75 calories
59 FOR HIM Shagging - swingers Realising you’re lower middle class, middle aged and slightly ugly 10 calories Realising your equally ugly wife no longer turns you on 10 calories Coupling with swingers because it’s the only way you can get it up at your age 300 calories
TOTAL: 320 calories
86 If you want to create a shag haircut that is very heavy on the volume, then choppy layers are the way to go. This hairstyle is characterized by short layers of hair that are cut into various angles. The end result will be choppy layers around your head with lots of texture and movement throughout. 9. Messy Shag Haircut FOR HIM Finding a shag partner on holiday Holding your stomach in whilst walking along the beach looking for a suitable partner 40 calories Buying an ice-cream and sharing it with a stranger minus 200 calories Holding your stomach in even more 50 calories
TOTAL: minus 110 calories
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