More than just foreplay, Ian Kerner argues that oral sex is the key to a great sex life for both partners. Shortform note: Kerner explains that cunnilingus is the step where you build your partner’s arousal until she orgasms and that this should take about 15-45 minutes. During foreplay, you want to focus on building sexual tension by doing things that build anticipation for the climax. Kerner says you’ll know she’s orgasming when her vagina contracts and releases repeatedly, her muscles are tensing and releasing, her breathing and heart rate have soared, and (with some women) she ejaculates clear fluid. While Kerner extended the amount of time the foreplay process lasts before sex, some experts now define foreplay as an ongoing process or cycle that continues throughout a relationship—it begins after the last orgasm, continues until the next one, and then starts again immediately after.

Stimulating the clitoris too aggressively and failing to communicate about how things feel are two of the most common mistakes men make while giving cunnilingus. Creating a mission statement for myself has not only made life easier, but has given me a guide to be the best me that I can be! In addition, the chapters are very brief (generally only a few pages long), and several of the ones on technique include rep in the form of quick reviews at the end of the chapter, making it perfect for the ofttimes shorter male notice span.If you adopt a playful, inquisitive, and sometimes teasing mindset, it will keep your relationship in a near-constant state of flirtation and anticipation, stave off dullness, and allow you to handle conflict without turning to contempt. The first half of the book is primarily about female anatomy, while the second covers step-by-step techniques. He specializes in couples’ therapy and sex therapy but works with individuals on a regular basis as well.

We can break Kerner’s process down into four major steps: making first contact, establishing rhythm, introducing manual stimulation, and bringing her to orgasm. It’s the type of career she enjoys and she is actually appreciated for the hard work and hours she puts into it. Coreplay should be an uninterrupted process, but it can be broken down into stages so that it’s easier to understand. They theorize that rhythm is what causes orgasm because with each repeated motion, neural pathways are extended and nerve signals reach further and further until the orgasmic threshold is reached. Luckily, sex experts explain that there are sex toys that can fulfill Kerner’s advice without exhausting you further.Shortform note: Kerner recommends continuing your tongue strokes throughout your partner’s orgasm to ensure that you’re giving her a complete experience. I’ve been studying and interviewing her for so long now that I can’t wait to share everything with you. In other words, it’s ready to build up to another climax and just needs the right stimulation for that to happen. As soon as you place the first kiss upon her vulva, you break the boundary between foreplay and coreplay.