out there who will always work at Starbucks, or fast food, or jobs that this book characteristics as "unfulfilling".

Jay has served as a fellow for the American Psychoanalytic Association, the Center for the Study of Sexual Cultures, and the Robert Stoller Foundation. It would have been nice to address those who were reading this book very late in their 20s to avoid making it seem like the author was telling us our lives were hopeless becuase we failed to find the perfect spouse / job in our 20s. Didn't feel like a real psychology book, probably because its also in that kind of self help genre which inevitably seems seems trite and preachy after a while. On the contrary, she argues that our twenties are a crucial time of personal and professional growth, which sets the course for the rest of our adult lives.The Defining Decadehas a whole section on love, and I found it helpful in some aspects, but certainly did not blow me away. As a clinical psychologist, Meg Jay tells of real conversations she has had with 20-somethings and their struggles. I like the overall message of the book: Your life, even at your twenties, means something, so make the best of it. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Forbes, Psychology Today, and NPR.

I do not consider myself an authority in anything, and this review is simply my incoherent rants about things that made me upset, for my own reference. As a clinical psychologist, Meg Jay talks about the same conversations she had with one of her clients.The examples Jay provides of her clients (admittedly altered, to protect identities) struck me as so exaggerated as to beggar belief. A study that tracked men and women from their early twenties to their later twenties found that of those who remained single--who dates or hooked up but avoided commitments--80 percent were dissatisfied with their dating lives and only 10 percent didn't wish they had a partner. And it's not just because millennials are so darn fickle, it's becuase not everyone is straight and not everyone wants children - and plenty of my friends can't even get married due to backwards laws. I found it to be useful in that it inspired me to take myself seriously and think about the bigger life plan. A straightforward look at the history and the art of maintaining courteous communication in an increasingly divided world.

Anyone who has ever heard of Phineas Gage or taken Psychology 101 would not get anything new out of those sections, and they felt like cop-out filler: "Your BWAINZ aren't even developed! After reading this book, it'll motivate you to get that potato bum off the sofa, brush up on your resume, pursue your passion, put 10,000 hours into your craft to truly become a master of it. Social comparisons tend to make people feel bad because, usually, we make "upward social comparisons"; we see how our lives stack up against those who seem to have it all.com Staff Pick and her 2013 TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20″ has been viewed more than 2 million times. She comes across as very judgmental to both her clients and readers--I would hate to have her as my therapist! The biggest problem is she stacks everyone up against the same measures of success: a "good" job, finding a suitable spouse, and procreating.

A “must-read” ( The Washington Post ) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.Just how many elite private institutions in large part serve to educate and connect the next generation of well-to-dos to other elites (think massive recruiting for consulting and IB at Ivy League schools), constantly leveraging powerful “weak ties” keeps power among the already powerful, which in our context are those that the cis, heteronormative, white supremacist culture works for. They are a time when the things we do-and the things we don’t do — will have an enormous effect across years and even generations to come. I am a mid-twentysomething who has worked at the same company for 7 years, first as a part-time assistant and then moved into a full-time position almost 4 years ago. One thing I admired in this section of the book was how she talks about taking the steps from like to love to marriage. When this is the tasks, similarities can feel validating and comforting, and differences can feel threatening.