A searing memoir from Harry Potter star and activist Evanna Lynch about the bravery it takes to embrace ourselves and our dreams while navigating the battle between perfection and creativity. Evanna Lynch has long been viewed as a role model for people recovering from anorexia and the story of her casting as Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter films has reached almost mythic proportions. Yet even after recovery, there remains a conflict at the very core of her being: a bitter struggle between the familiar, anesthetising pursuit of perfection, and the desire to fully and fearlessly embrace her creativity. Evanna Lynch writes beautifully, her emotions unflinching honesty and truth ripping into my innermost psyche.

Hi,” Mum says just as I reach the door to the living room. She is distant with me, sad, though offers a weak smile as she rinses some vegetables by the sink. I stare down at the little bowl in my hands: white, with dainty blue and red flowers decorating the edges. She has peeled a perfect Golden Delicious, sliced it thinly and then arranged the pieces in a small flower shape, the slices overlapping each other like petals. I remember, years ago, coming across an article by Evanna about how to approach one's self-image. She said something to the effect of it being worth it to deal with one's flaws not as an affirmation of self-loathing, but as a means to no longer have them rule your life. And as a pimply, stretch-marked, gangly teen, her words carried immense gravity and far-reaching power. That simple wisdom — something my young mind, ensnared by obsessive self-hating loops, could not yet rise up to see — has remained with me as a precious guiding light. After that incredible event Lynch reprised her role in the three final films of the franchise as well as the tie-in video games. Rowling included Lynch in her roll-call of the Big Seven actors in the series. The author said that Lynch had ‘got in her head’ and thus influenced the way that she wrote the character. Critics lauded Lynch’s performances and she was launched as one of Ireland’s best actresses. Evanna Lynch made it very clear that she won't reveal numbers in any form in this book. At first, I thought that it was a bad decision, that it would leave the book incomplete without her mentioning her weight upheavals. But after I read the book, I saw the merit in her decision. Even for someone like me, far away from that extreme level of anorexia, I found her mention of some techniques very tempting to try. So it would have really messed up with the minds of those still struggling with their body image.Evanna Lynch is the young actress who played Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter film series. I am always rather reluctant to read a young person's memoir, as I feel often it won't have much to say or any great substance. This i9 definitely not the case with this memoir. Raw, frank and utterly heartfelt, but full of love and joy too, one of the most moving and uplifting memoirs I’ve ever read.’ Daisy Buchanan

Even after recovery, there remains a conflict at her core: a bitter struggle between the pursuit of perfection and the desire to fearlessly embrace her creative side. Revealing a startlingly accomplished voice, Lynch delves into the heart of her relationship with her body. As she takes the reader through a personal journey of leaving behind the safety of girlhood, Lynch explores the pivotal choices that ultimately led her down the path of creativity and toward acceptance of the wild, sensual, and unpredictable reality of womanhood. HP fans might be eager to know this: To what extent does the Harry Potter experience appear in the memoir? Answer: It appears just as much as necessary and will certainly make you happy, though you might not look at Luna the same way again. The writing contains Evanna’s obsession for the book series, her fangirling of JK Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe, and her step into professional acting with the HP movies. But none of this is the main focus; anorexia remains the lead character of this memoir. It’s soul-crushing whilst being redemptive and forgiving. It shows the worst but delivers such hope and love that you feel liberated and seen. Gradually, I began to feel this dawning awareness that womanhood was coming for me, that it was looming inevitably, and it didn't feel safe.... While those around me tried to expedite it, simulate it, exacerbate it, I tried to strangle it. The last couple of chapters also reveal the up to date issues and the way in which this 31 year old actress faces up to her struggles.

Evanna Lynch has long been viewed as a role model for people recovering from anorexia, and the story of her casting as Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter films has reached almost mythic proportions. Yet even after recovery, there remains a conflict at the very core of her being: a bitter struggle between the familiar, anesthetising pursuit of perfection and the desire to fully and fearlessly embrace her creativity.

There are a lot of triggering ideas in this book. Just know that it’s a heavy book and quite intense on the emotions. Recommended if you are an Evanna Lynch fan. Recommended if you struggle with your body image. Recommended if you want to read a genuine and heartfelt memoir. Recommended if you want to know how devious anorexia can be. But remember that it’s quite graphic and befuddling at times in its depictions. To be read only when you are mentally strong. There was too much potential and too much room to fail so day by day, I chose perfection over creativity. I chose no more creativity, and no more mistakes.

I’m struggling to write a review that portrays my thoughts… Although I did try to do it Justice to my mum on a one-hour car journey - I can’t tell if her silence was in awe or fear.

It will get easier' is probably the most offensive thing you can day to someone in the grip of pain. You are borrowing from a future that isn't promised, a future that depends entirely on their endurance of the pain. You are taking for granted a well of strength within them that they may not possess, fast-forwarding through the ugly bits that you don't want to watch but they must live through, nonetheless. It is not a helpful thing to say to someone for whom only the present moment can exist, so vivid, so intense that it's not possible to imagine a moment beyond it." Pg 218 I also knew about her ED struggles beforehand (because of the sensational "She was able to beat anorexia just to get the Luna role!!!!" which aren't even true), but basically nothing else about her as a person, so I'm now glad to have that information. She even talks about that in the book, how even she defined herself by her ED alone for a long time, and working on her goals and dreams OUTSIDE of it are what finally got her out. my unfortunate body? They have their own lives and bodies, and I have never tried to interfere with those I felt that I was gazing through a window that reminded me there was beauty, colour, magic and wonder available to me out there, if only I would just step over the precipice. Now that I mentioned Tom Felton, I should also say this: the main reason why I don't want to read his memoir too is because of all the cringy HP references to "muggles", "Slytherins", etc. Meanwhile, Evanna completely avoided ALL and any of that, even though you can clearly tell from the text how much HP meant to her.That is how Evanna’s striking authenticity personally reached me: as a grounded, lucid whisper — from within the darkness and beyond it — that there is meaning, wisdom, and significance to your suffering even when you cannot yet perceive it. To Evanna Lynch herself, on the offchance that you ever actually visit this subreddit (in which case I hope you haven't ever found anything here in bad taste), thank you for sharing your story and I hope your self-love and self-acceptance only grows from here. You're making the world a brighter, spanglier place.