You don’t have to be a mother or a daughter to know that mother-daughter relationships are complicated. No two dynamics are the same, and even in the presence of big love, myriad complex emotions often accompany this unique and important bond. Whether our mothers are our best friends, worst enemies or anything in between, one thing is for sure: a daughter’s relationship to her mother will shape her in ways both obvious and less apparent.Here are ten great reads on mother-daughter relationships in all of their beautiful, complicated, multi-layered glory. Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein Reflective listening involves paying special attention to the content and feelings your daughter is expressing when she talks. It’s about being emotionally available and letting the other person know they are understood. If a mother doesn’t behave in a loving and warm way or behaves dismissively or critically, a daughter may look for ways to connect while never feeling good enough.

Being heard and accepted is one of our greatest needs in relationships, says Kate Fish, licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Graceful Therapy in Oswego, Illinois. We have to be careful not to communicate in projection, as this is a way of missing the mark and only closing the possibility of deeper connection,” says Moffa. Remember you were your daughter’s age once Last year, I was totally enthralled by Into My Arms, so Mothers and Daughters was one of my most anticipated reads this year. While I didn’t devour it the same way I did Into My Arms, it was just as captivating.

Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple

Seventeen years ago, Jess lost her daughter Beth due to a momentary lapse in judgment. While she has tried to move on, she knows she was to blame, and that she’s expected to endure a lifetime of guilt for what happened. When Jess moves away with her new family, the past will follow her. She fears the secret she has kept for so long will have devastating consequences. A great book for moms who love psychological thrillers, this one will have your heart racing.

Fish suggests practicing and expressing gratitude for the traditions and values you have learned from your mother. The other niggle was the way one of the characters were dealt with at the end. They had become an inconvenience and it seems as though the author didn���t really know what to do with them. Jenna’s mother Alice mysteriously disappeared in the midst of a tragic accident. More than a decade later, Jenna continues to search for her mother or clues about her whereabouts. She enlists the help of a psychic known for finding missing persons, and a jaded detective who worked on Alice’s case years ago. As the three of them ask hard questions, they realize they’ll have even harder answers. As Jenna’s memories collide with Alice’s own accounts in her journals, the story races for a captivating end. This list of books about mother-daughter relationships is sponsored by The Cactus by Sarah Haywood. For instance, turning to her for advice on a career choice, living situation, relationship, or parenting your own children can make her feel valued. Let her be part of your familyMothers And Daughters is Kylie Ladd’s fourth novel, revolving around a very different mix of mothers who became friends when their children all began prep (kindergarten/first year of school) together. Now those children are fourteen and much has changed. Bronte and Janey now go to different high schools and aren’t particularly friends anymore. Bronte is cripplingly shy, awkward in herself whereas Janey trains for the state swim teams and is definitely more outgoing, ready to grow up before her time. Tess has been changed by her move to the Aboriginal community, her world no longer revolving around facebook updates and who is doing what. She has thrived there but it also means that there’s somewhat little to connect her with her former friends, although Bronte is eager to learn everything about the community, especially the Aboriginal art. The book is very readable. A fast, summer holiday read. On a small scale it tries to show the different sides and attitudes towards these Communities. Nothing heavy. Bernadette Fox is a bit of a mad genius; she’s a talented architect, quirky and opinionated, a misfit among the other moms in her Seattle suburb but best friend to her teenage daughter Bee. She’s also so intensely agoraphobic that she pays a virtual assistant in India to handle even her most basic errands, making an impending family trip to Antarctica only, you know, slightly problematic. When Bernadette suddenly goes missing, Bee sets out to figure out where her mother could have gone. She begins to unravel the complicated workings of her mother’s brilliantly misunderstood mind. Patron Saint of Liars by Ann Patchett Whilst there are some emotional issues explored in this story, I thought the ending was uplifting and optimistic. I enjoyed seeing Willow and Martha come together as sisters, and then become accepting of their mother’s decisions. Family life is emphasised in this story, but also the importance of friendship and independence. It sends some significant messages to readers about acceptance of life choices and I appreciate this moral message that James is trying to convey. Well worth the read.

Naomi’s husband Colin passed away suddenly two years ago and life has moved on well for Naomi she has settled into life on her own in her beautiful home by the sea and has her daughters and friends and is very happy. Learning to let go of the shame that comes with having complex challenges within relationships can help you heal, says Gina Moffa, a psychotherapist based in New York City. As the story developed, I grew to like the characters more and more. I could not foresee how the story would progress and liked how the narrative shifted mostly between the three women. It was a lovely family drama that rests on the importance of communication and this evolves over the story. At the beginning, there is a lot of distance between the family but by the closing, events have occurred that makes them even stronger as a family unit. Naomi’s life has revolved around her family. Since her husbands death and her daughters embarking on their own relationships Naomi is at a crossroads where she is finding herself on her own for the first time in years. Martha is hoping Naomi will move closer to her especially as she is planning on having a baby. She tries to enlist Willows help who is not so sure and feels her mum should stay in their family home. At first, Astrid looked up to her intelligent and beautiful mother, but when Ingrid is convicted of murder and sent to prison, everything changes for her. She is placed in foster care, where she must adapt to a new environment and learn new rules at each new residence. Oprah Winfrey chose White Oleanderas as a book club option and narrated the audio CD because of Astrid's commitment to learn to live motherless. No More Perfect Moms: Learn to Love Your Real Life by Jill SavageIn what may be the most personal of the great Maya Angelou’s works, Angelou sheds light on her complicated relationship with her mother, Vivian Baxter. She begins with Vivian’s decision to send three-year-old Maya and her brother to live with their grandmother in Arkansas. She goes on to explore the sense of abandonment that followed her for years.Her long road to healing began with their reunion a decade later. Paula by Isabel Allende While the role of a mother can be about guiding and teaching, as your daughter becomes an adult, it’s important to allow her to also share knowledge with you, Fish says. There are plenty of other people out in the world that can play devil’s advocate. What we need more than a naysayer is someone to validate our experience and make us feel supported,” says Fish. Practice reflective listening Naomi has also never revealed the full details of her life when married to their father, fearing that this would destroy their happy memories.