Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. (2017). The Natural Principles of Love. Journal of Family Theory and Review, 9(1), 7–26. doi: 10.1111/JFTR.12182 The higher the difference in intimacy between the new partner and the official partner, the more dangerous the affair is to the official relationship. How Emotional Affairs Start That is very sad. Couples have come to me years after doing therapy for an affair. There has been no true stage of reconciliation that Drs. John and Julie Gottman would call “Attachment.” The unforgiving spouse remains bitter, but may try to hide it. The unforgiven feels a loneliness that he or she doesn’t understand; it may be that everything “looks” fine, but underneath there is still distrust, blame, or anger. Dr. John Gottman with Dr. Caryl Rusbult and Dr. Shirley Glass explained an affair as a cascade of steps that culminate in a transgression. It all starts with the bid for attention. If it sounds like a simplified excuse for an affair, it is not. When one can’t count on their partner to be available in their time of need, it leads to unfavorable comparisons, emotional distance, and eventual betrayal, if not the demise of love. Based on research, the steps that lead to betrayal (the Gottman-Rusbult-Glass Cascade) are as follows. Turning away

Emotional Affair: Navigating Complex Feelings | TPM Emotional Affair: Navigating Complex Feelings | TPM

The good news? It can be accomplished, and the commitment can be richer than ever. Not because of the affair, but because of the work done to make marriage #2 better than marriage #1 ever was. There might be some chemistry or some liking, but it’s rarely love at first sight or “fatal attraction”. Where do They Start? The last thing that Jennifer wants to realize is that 10 or 15 years down the road, Sam says, “You know, I never really forgave you for that affair. I want a divorce.” Or he might never say those words, and simply act it out passive-aggressively. The boundaries shift slowly and it’s hard if at all possible, to pinpoint a specific moment when the friendship starts becoming too intimate.As one maximizes the partner’s negative qualities, one also minimizes positive characteristics. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ( defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stonewalling) become rampant. Dr. Gottman suggests that people committed to their relationship cherish their partner by reminiscing about the positives with gratitude, even when not together. An essential part of a relationship, cherishing and expressing gratitude, is replaced with trash-talking the partner (directly and in front of others). Resentment and loneliness in relationship

SHIRLEY GLASS LTD overview - Find and update company SHIRLEY GLASS LTD overview - Find and update company

Notice that you’re already having an affair even without sex and some sources put emotional affairs on the same level as emotional + sexual (but I disagree with that). That makes her susceptible, even unconsciously looking for, an emotional bond and a sexual release. When there’s lots of evidence, denial adds insult to injury. And when the truth finally surfaces the betrayed partner has two wounds: the sad reality and the false reassurances. Partners who didn’t expect it can experience feelings of unreality, as if they were disconnecting from the world. #1. Numbness Needless to say, emotional plus sexual infidelity is the most damaging to the relationship. Signs of Emotional AffairsBecause society disapproves of affairs and cheating, the unfaithful partner can often be very lonely in his struggle.

Remembering Dr. Shirley Glass : NPR

Episodes 3 hours ago World’s Most Expensive Cruise: Season 3 Episode 2 (Channel 5 Friday 3 November 2023) Jennifer can begin to feel hopeless if not given this information, or that her efforts are not being recognized. Both need to deeply understand and believe that the other is on board for a new commitment, that they both have chosen to remain, and are working on a new relationship dynamic that outshines their previous connection. Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2002). A Two‐Factor Model for Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce: Exploratory Analyses Using 14‐Year Longitudinal Data*. Family Process, 41(1), 83–96. doi: 10.1111/J.1545-5300.2002.40102000083.XAs Schaefer points out in The Like Switch familiarity is a major element of the like equation, and emotional affairs are likely to start in places that breed familiarity and continuity of interaction. Of course the workplace, with its daily interactions and increased female participation, has been the main driver of the increase in infidelity in the last decades. Here are the steps that emotional affairs usually entail: Stage 1: Platonic Friends / Secure Relationship The cheating partner is sometimes ashamed of his behavior and fearful that it might cost him both relationships (and a costly divorce). Gender Differences in Affairs When they start feeling again the feeling won’t be positive, but it’s a step forward nonetheless. #2. Relief