If your Dad is incredi-ball he will love a jar filled with his favorite treats and this INCREDI-ball Dad Label on the front. One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.” A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”

As fathers, we know that our children need our love and need our guidance and need our faith in them. We know that our children need from us what only we as fathers can provide them.” ― Hendrith Vanlon Smith Jr., CEO of Mayflower-Plymouth A good father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life.” — Dr. James Dobson, “Solid Answers”What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.

What makes a joke a dad joke? Well, when a dad becomes a dad, his sense of humor becomes ap parent too. Before he knows it, he’s dropping pun-laden one-liners left and right just like his dad did, and his dad’s dad did, and he may even inherit some mom jokes too. (Is your grandmother funny? That’s usually the biggest tell.) When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. Treat their mother with respect, always. Some fathers can be abusive toward their spouse, and that will lead to a cycle of abuse when the child grows up. But beyond physical or verbal abuse, there’s the milder sin against the child’s mother: disrespectful behavior. If you treat your child’s mother with disrespect, your child will not only learn that behavior, but grow up with insecurities and other emotional problems. Treat your child’s mother with respect at all times. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

To be the father of growing daughters is to understand something of what Yeats evokes with his imperishable phrase ‘terrible beauty.’ Nothing can make one so happily exhilarated or so frightened: it’s a solid lesson in the limitations of self to realize that your heart is running around inside someone else’s body." ― Christopher Hitchens, "Hitch 22: A Memoir" Everyone loves a good un and that’s what dad jokes are built on. Ask any newspaper headline writer and they’ll tell you, the secret to drawing readership is all about a snappy title that makes you giggle Here are the best puns for dads. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart. Fathering makes a man, whatever his standing in the eyes of the world, feel strong and good and important, just as he makes his child feel loved and valued.” — Frank Pittman Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”Let them be themselves. Many parents try to mold their child into the person they want their child to be … even if the child’s personality doesn’t fit that mold. Instead, instill good behaviors and values in your child, but give your child freedom to be himself. Children, like all humans, have quirks and different personalities. Let those personalities flourish. Love your child for who he is, not who you want him to be.