Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

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Assertiveness is a little known yet life-changing communication skill and empowerment tool that helps people speak up for themselves and speak their minds unapologetically in a respectful and anxious-free way. I have the right to say yes to having sex, to enjoy sex, and to pause during sex to have a conversation. I never thought I could be capable of being so assertive, confident, and in control. I used to come across obviously assertive people and be jealous, even resentful toward them because I wished I could be like them. I wished I could have their confidence. The only way to become the assertive person that you want to be is by DOING it. Follow the steps. They are SO UNCOMFORTABLE AT FIRST. But it really does get easier with time. I’m not for everybody. That simple insight lead to a profound sense of relief. I no longer needed to convince every person who came across me or my message that I was a good, worthy person. Some people would love what I was doing, and some would not. That’s OK; I’m not for everybody. Just thinking it or saying it out loud makes me smile. Try saying it out loud right now: “I’m not for everybody.” Isn’t it a relief?"

this book is a toolbox. more than that, it is a door. it is the door in a wall you built up so high for years and decades and now the only way out is through. I have the right to say “no” to anything I don’t want to do, for any reason, without needing to justify it or give an excuse.This book is all about creating boundaries in your life. It includes 10 laws of boundaries, common boundary myths, and spends half of the book explaining how to have healthy boundaries with family, friends, spouse, children, work, self, and God. Note that this book has a religious undertone, but the knowledge is valid irrespective of your religion. Not Nice by Dr Aziz Gazipura, has got a good point or two. But, the theory not holding up (according to me) in the end, kind of spoils the fun.

In fact, the quality of your life depends on how many of these uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have." I have also given more than I take and have said “yes” to things I really wanted to say “no” to just to appease another person and be helpful. People will always have something to say about you. Even if you are the nicest person on earth (nice people already know this!) A good example is how kids just say what’s on their minds. They simply blurb stories mid way and start talking with enthusiasm about absolutely none-sense with no censorship nor concern about what you MIGHT think of them or their story! They just assume you will like it because they genuinely like it themselves.I have the right to share my perspective, even if someone might disagree or temporarily be uncomfortable. Assertiveness is the act of behaving confidently and boldly without aggression. Assertive people are able to stand up for themselves and their needs, set boundaries and communicate exactly what they want. I have the right not to have to anticipate others’ needs and wishes. If they have them, they can express them. All in all we are definitely being manipulated on daily basis under the magical spell of BE NICE and NOT NICE book is a legitimate way to break the spell