Hammer And Tickle: A History Of Communism Told Through Communist Jokes

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Roosevelt and Stalin are at the meeting. Roosevelt says, "One beautiful thing about America is that we have freedom of speech. That means that anybody can stand in front of the White House and say, 'Roosevelt is a piece of shit' and nobody would pay any attention." Stalin says, "We have freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, too. Anybody can stand in front of the Kremlin and say, 'Roosevelt is a piece of shit' and no one would bat an eye." The KGB, the GIGN (or in some versions of the joke, the FBI) and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist. The GIGN (or FBI) goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming. The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" Ben Lewis claims that the political conditions in the Soviet Union were responsible for the unique humour produced there; [5] [4] according to him, " Communism was a humour-producing machine. Its economic theories and system of repression created inherently amusing situations. There were jokes under fascism and the Nazis too, but those systems did not create an absurd, laugh-a-minute reality like communism."

From President's decree: "All jokes about Vovochka are henceforth considered to be political." [29] Lubyanka (KGB headquarters) is the tallest building in Moscow. You can see Siberia from its basement." Soviet political anecdotes in Wikisource (in Russian) 1001 избранный советский политический анекдот In the Soviet Union, telling political jokes could be regarded as a type of extreme sport: according to Article 58 (RSFSR Penal Code), " anti-Soviet propaganda" was a potentially capital offense. Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says, "Bless you, Comrade!" and resumes his speech. [15]Ronnie, what happened? - My dear, I've had a nightmare. It's twenty-sixth CPSU congress and Brezhnev says: 'Dear comrades, we have listened to reports about situation in Bryansk and Oryol regions. Now, let's listen to the First Secretary of Washington CPSU committee, comrade Reagan.' And you know what? I have not prepared! [18] "The Soviet Union is the homeland of elephants" [ edit ]

Jokes about Vladimir Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution of 1917, typically made fun of characteristics popularized by propaganda: his supposed kindness, his love of children (Lenin never had children of his own), his sharing nature, his kind eyes, etc. Accordingly, in jokes Lenin is often depicted as sneaky and hypocritical. A popular joke set-up is Lenin interacting with the head of the secret police, Felix Edmundovich Dzerzhinsky, in the Smolny Institute, the seat of the revolutionary communist government in Petrograd, or with khodoki, peasants who came to see Lenin. Lenin coined a slogan about how communism would be achieved thanks to the political power of the Soviets and the modernization of the Russian industry and agriculture: "Communism is Soviet power plus electrification of the whole country!" The slogan was subjected to mathematical scrutiny by the people: "Consequently, Soviet power is communism minus electrification, and electrification is communism minus Soviet power."a b Novak, Nancy (1998). Ultimate Russian: Basic-intermediate. Living Language. p.388. ISBN 9780517882849 . Retrieved 4 June 2023.