I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.” An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman all walk into a bar... The Englishman needed to drink to forget the pain. Paddy Irishman jokes are at the centre of Irish humour and Irish culture, here are the top five best Paddy Irishman jokes of all time, RANKED.

Here is a list of funny irishman englishman scotsman jokes and even better irishman englishman scotsman puns that will make you laugh with friends. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... the Welshman's not there because he's still at the Euros. An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman? Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go. An Englishman, Scotsman, and yer man Paddy were boasting about how famous their uncles are. "My uncle is a bishop," said the Englishman, "and when he walks down the street, everybody says, 'Your Lordship.'" "My uncle is a cardinal," said the Scotsman, "and when he walks down the street everybody says, 'Your Eminence.'" "Dat’s nothing,” says Paddy. “My uncle weighs twenty-nine stone, and when he walks down the street everybody says, 'God Almighty!'"

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub The Englishman decides to leave and drags everyone else out with him. A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop."The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar As soon as they sit down the barman asks: "Is this a joke?" Slide down the rainbow, and shout out something, and you’ll find it at the bottom,” he says to them. Three Paddies, one leprechaun – that’s not exactly what he was hoping to find Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

An Irishman walks into a bar .... An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says: in Bulgaria, the usual form is "an American/Englishman, a Frenchman and a Bulgarian/ Bay Ganyo...", though various other national stereotypes can be employed as well

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Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two." Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two." An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman took part in an international competition to see who had the greatest ability to endure foul smells. Each of them had to share a cage for as long as possible with an extremely smelly goat. The Irishman lasted three minutes, The Scotsman lasted four minutes. Then the Englishman went, in and after five minutes the goat came out. An Englishman an Irishman & a Scotsman... An Englishman an Irishman & a Scotsman get into a cab. The driver turns around and says "Sorry gents I'm Muslim, I can't take a joke." One beautiful spring day Angus Campbell headed out for an afternoon of golf. Standing on the green the Scot asked the boy standing beside him, "Are ye my caddie for today?" "Aye," answered the boy. "Are ye good in finding lost balls?" "Oh yes sir, I find every lost ball!" "Okay, boy, then run and search for one, then we can start!"

The villager is already ready to go and gives a repeat performance, once again culminating in “UM BONGO!” And the Scotsman leaves, fluids dripping down his leg as he goes. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

About Mick "The Joker"

That’s incredible, what a coincidence," said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake." [2] National variations [ edit ] An Englishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman walked into a bar... The Englishman and the Welshman didn't like the pub so all three had to leave Used to be quite popular. Probably considered politically incorrect today. Nevertheless, here's a good one: An Englishman walks into a bar.... An Irishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman turn up a few days later saying "Sorry we're late!"