Moving on from that current reality, my embracing transvestism saved me and enabled true self expression. I rarely become a woman and adore the precious few hours I am able to cross-dress and adopt a female appearance. When I have undergone the process of male to female transformation, something that is lengthy and requires much planning in my situation, I am thrilled and euphoric to cease being male for a few hours. Oh, say the critics, but polygamy's tied to child abuse. Uh, right. That's the same thing they say about same-sex unions... based on their ludicrous assumption that all homosexuals are somehow pedophiles, or sex fiends. Ridiculous. I was very excited to walk onto the wee set I had prepared for the photos...that sounds a bit grand for what was in fact a large white cloth. I had set up a couple of studio lights and I was now in my own little fantasy of being an actress posing for a photo-shoot. To which I say.... don't flatter yourself. Just because a man may be in a love with another man, that doesn't mean he's uncontrollably flinging himself at every damned man who walks through the door. I mean... I have a straight male doctor. That means... oooooohhhh.... gasp.... he has sex with women!!!! But that has absolutely nothing to do with him examining me in his professional capacity. If you are a male to female cross-dresser you will know what comes next. The moment has arrived to pull on tights (pantyhose) and pull on a dress before then slipping on a pair of high heels. I always love the moment of standing up as a woman at this point and enjoy the fact the man within has gone. Adding a dash of perfume and attaching ear-rings is the final touch beard a moment of sheer emotional intoxication takes over. Again, I find myself so suffused with inner joy at finally escaping my male self and embracing my female self that I need to take awhile to calm and settle into my female persona.

Marriage, as I understand it, is all about love and commitment. And no two people were ever more in love or more committed. Then a call came in on their telephone, the thieves answered it. After they hung up, the husband heard their phone used to call us, and heard the two thieves leave.. The flight attendants days later were interviewed, none of them=m could clearly remember any passengers fitting the descriptions of the priest, the smarmy Romeo, or the two mysterious ladies…

There was no real garbage, inside, he answered a bit awkwardly. The detective pounced on him, what garbage was there then sir? He shrugged, and going to a waste bin, pulled out a small film canister. Of course other factors can contribute to how rewarding you can feel with your female self. I found it was not always choosing outfits that you were attracted too as often these resulted in me looking like a man dressing up as a woman, I exhibited a naivety based more on male fantasy and sexual thrills rather than finding what actually worked on me and made me more realistically presentable as a woman. Often the clothes that really work well on you are not the ones you may have chosen. It’s all about being prepared to be more open minded about clothing, hair styles, make-up and colours. Already on our way there he said almost cheerfully ( pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together)

And I don’t want any sly remarks from you.” The older woman wags her heavily bejewelled fingers warningly. “You are on show this evening, and I expect nothing less than ladylike decorum in all manner of action and speech.” In this photo from early June I was totally getting into being a woman and would happily have posed with a man on my arm to sell the illusion I was female. I enjoyed wearing this outfit and if I am honest felt very much at home appearing like this. The intensity of the moment was quite something to cope with, I wanted nothing more than to remain female forever. However, about four hours after this photo was taken I returned to being a man and was quite happy to do so. I think the knowledge I desire to dress up and look female and act as if I am female is something I get a buzz from. The fact I rarely get to cross-dress is probably what I find attractive about being a transvestite. If I was a woman full time I would not likely get the rewards I have emotionally and physically that I get from the occasional cross-dressing experiences. Yet, I feel there is a part of me that wishes I was female.

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Now Millicent, her mother lectured, You know we don’t approve of young Lady Pollyanna’s fancy boy, Raul. He would probably manage a way to slip the ring from off your finger. My vanity, indeed I'm sure more my ego, would love to one day experience being taken out for dinner as Helene by a man. As a transvestite trying to pass as a woman that surely has to be rewarding? To be wined and dined and treated as a lady and spend the evening as a woman being admired by men is the ultimate in passing. It has nothing to do with sex, it is all to do with an inner dream of being able to pass convincingly as a female. killing a multi-year agreement with the provinces that would've made child care somewhat more affordable and accessible. My relationship with my transvestism is something that fascinates me greatly and is something I really enjoy analysing and on rare occasions get to discuss, I am completely fascinated by my transgender feelings. I do often question my motives as being a transvestite brings with it a lot of emotions and satisfaction, indeed a sense of fulfilment yet it also carries for me doubt and guilt and confusion.