Ugly Love

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I suoi occhi si concentrano nei miei per alcuni secondi. ”Mai chiedere del mio passato,” dice fermamente. ”E non aspettarti mai un futuro.” I’m just wondering if your mouth hurts like the rest of you hurts, because if it doesn’t, I want to kiss you.” She grins. “My mouth feels great.” I rise up on my elbow so she doesn’t have to roll toward me. I look down on her, and seeing her beneath me feels different now. It feels real. Until yesterday, it really did feel like we had been playing house. Of course, our love is real, and our relationship is real, but until I witnessed her give life to my son yesterday, everything I felt before that moment was like child’s play compared to what I feel for her now. “I love you, Rachel. More than I loved you yesterday.” Her eyes are looking up at me like she knows exactly what I’m talking about. “If you love me more today than you loved me yesterday, then I can’t wait for tomorrow,” she says. My lips fall to hers, and I kiss her. Not because I should but because I need to. ••• I’m standing outside Rachel’s hospital room. She and Clayton are both in the room, napping. The nurse said he hardly even cried. I’m sure she tells all the parents that, but I believe her anyway. I take out my phone to text Ian. Me: He got snipped a few hours ago. Took it like a champ. Ian: Ouch. I’m coming to meet him tonight. I’ll be there after seven. Me: See you then. He had so many special moment with his first born, that was special to just him & Rachel, why couldn’t tate have that too?

realizing your father doesn’t have life figured out any more than you do. I go to my room. I take out my phone, and I text Rachel. Me: What do we do about tomorrow night? Rachel: We lie to them? Me: Can you meet me at seven? Rachel: Yes. Me: Rachel? Rachel: Yeah? Me: Good night. Rachel: Good night, Miles. Colleen Hoover once again proves she’s a master storyteller in her best and boldest work to date. She pens the novel in a unique and thematically symbolic format that renders a one-of-a-kind fluidity and motion to how the story ebbs and flows. How it recedes. How it crests and surges with every emotionally charged moment as Miles reluctantly falls in love with Tate, and in turn, how Tate falls for Miles despite his best efforts to keep her away. Their story isn’t typical, but it’s one that is all about feeling. Feeling too little and feeling too much. Feeling so much that you shut down and feeling not enough that you hurt others. And despite the fact that their coming together isn’t a fairytale, it shows that sometimes a happily ever after costs a great many tears and heartache. That beautiful, forever love can come from ugly, broken love… if you just believe in a person enough to not give up.I find myself laughing when the elevator doors finally open. I reach down to grab the handle of my suitcase and turn to him one more time before I step inside. “What’s your name?” i felt so much more emotion and passion in what he had to give to Rachel, it was sad we never got to see that with Tate too. We never got the emotional moment of appreciation towards Tate making him a father again, how it felt to see her as a first time mum in that moment, but we sure got all of that during Rachel and Miles’ moment in the hospital together. too risky.” I don’t want to agree to that rule, but I’m nodding my head. “Second, no sex.” I’m not nodding anymore. “Ever?” I ask her. She’s nodding. Oh, I really hate that nod. “Why?” She sighs heavily. “Sex will make it that much harder when our time is up. You know that.” She’s right. She’s also completely wrong, but I have a feeling she’ll figure that out later. “Can I ask what rule number three is before I agree to rule number two?” She grins. “There is no rule number three.” I grin. “So sex is the only thing off limits? And we’re talking penetration, right? Not oral?” She covers her face with her hands. “Oh, my God, do you have to get so specific?” She’s cute when she’s embarrassed. “Just clarifying. I have a lifetime of things I want to do to you and only six months left to do them all.” “Let’s leave the specifics up to the situation,” she says. “Fair enough,” I say, admiring the blush in her cheeks. “Rachel? Are you a virgin?” Her cheeks grow even redder. She shakes her head and tells me no. She asks if that bothers me. “Not at all,” I say, being honest. She asks if I’m a virgin, but her voice is timid when she asks it. Colleen Hoover just "demolished "me. Completely and 100% blew me away...not that I'm surprised or anything because she never ceases to amaze me.... I was pulled in from the beginning...and I loved every second of it!"--True Story Book Blog, blog tour review

Lust wants what lust can’t have. Lust wants me to have Rachel. Reasoning wants Rachel to go away. I take Reasoning’s side, and I turn to face Rachel again. “This won’t go anywhere,” I tell her. “Thisthing with us. It won’t end well.” “I know,” she whispers. “How do we stop it?” I ask her. She looks at me, hoping I’ll answer my own question. I can’t. Silence. Silence. Silence. LOUD, DEAFENING SILENCE. I want to cover my ears with my hands. I want to cover my heart with armor. I don’t even know you, Rachel. “I should leave,” I say. She tells me okay. “I can’t,” I whisper. She tells me okay. We stare at each other. Maybe if I stare at her enough, I’ll get tired of staring at her. I want to taste her again. Maybe if I taste her enough, I’ll get tired of tasting her. She doesn’t wait for me to reach her. She meets me halfway. I grab her face and she grabs my arms, and our guilt collides when our mouths collide. We lie to ourselves about the truth. We tell ourselves we’ve got this . . . when we don’t have it at all. My skin feels better with her touching it. My hair feels asked them as much as I love asking them.” I look down at my shoes, crossing one foot over the other. “What do you think would make a man never want to experience love again?” Cap doesn’t answer my question for at least five floors. I eventually look at him, and he’s looking right at me, his eyes narrowed, producing even more wrinkles between them. “I suppose if a man lived through the ugliest side of love, he might never want to experience it again.” I contemplate his answer, but it doesn’t help much. I don’t see how love could get ugly enough for a person to just shut himself off from it completely. The elevator doors open to the twentieth floor, and I let him step off first. I walk with him to his apartment door and wait for him to open it. “Tate,” he says. He’s facing his door, and he doesn’t turn around to finish his sentence. “Sometimes a man’s spirit just ain’t strong enough to withstand the ghosts from his past.” He opens his apartment door and walks inside. “Maybe that boy just lost his spirit somewhere along the way.” He closes his door and leaves me attempting to decipher even more confusion.

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I really liked Miles, i adored his love story with his first love and found myself anxious to get to his chapters where he shared his past with rachel as i knew it must’ve been something so awful to pull them apart, that i wasn’t actually sure if i wanted to find out what it was that happened between them to end what they had. Miles seemed to be Tates first everything that truly matters in life, her first love, first marriage, first to experience the path of parenthood together. No. I’m not. But I am your new neighbor, and from the looks of it, you’re about to owe me at least fifty cups of sugar.” Ed ecco che Colleen Hoover segna ancora un altro gol dritto dritto al mio cuore. Non poteva essere diversamente, mi aspettavo di provare quello che ho provato a leggere questo libro, tanto che era da un paio di settimane che aspettava lì nel mio scaffale, ma non avevo il coraggio di aprirlo perché sapevo che sarebbe stato il mio pensiero fisso per un bel po. Ed infatti, non mi sbagliavo, anche questo come tutti gli altri libri della Hoover mi ha catturato la mente e il cuore. Avete presente quando provate tante emozioni contemporaneamente e non riuscite ad ascoltare niente e nessuno perché il vostro cuore sta battendo forte? Eh be’, è così che ho letto questo libro, con il cuore in gola e con le lacrime agli occhi. Non sono riuscita a smettere di girare le pagine, volevo scoprire ancora di più, emozionarmi ancora di più e innamorarmi ancora un’altra volta dei bellissimi e indimenticabili personaggi che solo la Hoover riesce a portare in vita. The wedding being something that was just theirs.. an experience just for them and something special between the two of them should’ve been so much more… especially if the birth of their first child together was going to be less personal to them and just another thing that gets over shadowed by his past and Rachel.

Because we don’t know how to stop.” She’s right. “You’re going to Michigan in seven months, and I’ll be here in San Francisco. Maybe that’s our answer.” She nods. “Seven months?” I nod. I touch her lips with my finger, because her lips are the kind of lips that need appreciating, even when they aren’t being kissed. “We do this for seven months. We don’t tell anyone. Then . . .” I stop talking, because I don’t know how to say the words We stop. “Then we stop,” she whispers. “Then we stop,” I agree. She nods, and I can actually hear our countdown begin. I kiss her, and it feels even better now that we have a plan. “We’ve got this, Rachel.” She smiles in agreement. “We’ve got this, Miles.” I give her mouth the appreciation it deserves. I’m gonna love you for seven months, Rachel. Next to Miles. Neither of us has ever fallen asleep afterward before. One of us always leaves. As much as I’m trying to convince myself that it means nothing, I know it does. Every time we’re together, I get a little bit more of him. Whether it’s a glimpse of his past or time spent without the sex or even time spent sleeping, he’s giving me more and more of himself, little by little. I feel like this is both good and bad. It’s good, because I want and need so much more of him, so every little bit I get is enough to satisfy me when I begin worrying about everything I don’t get from him. But it’s also bad, because every time I get a little bit more of him, another part of him grows more distant. I can see it in his eyes. He’s worried he’s giving me hope, and I’m afraid he’ll eventually just pull away completely. Everything with Miles will come crashing down. It’s inevitable. He’s so adamant about the things he doesn’t want out of life, and I’m starting to understand just how serious he is. So as much as I try to protect my heart from him, it’s pointless. He’s going to break it eventually, yet I continue to allow him to fill it. Every time I’m with him, he fills my heart up more and more, and the more it’s filled with pieces of him, the more painful it’ll be when he rips it out of my chest as though it never belonged there in the first place. I hear the vibration of his phone and feel him roll over and reach for it on the nightstand next to him. He thinks I’m asleep, so I don’t give him reason to think otherwise. “Hey,” he whispers. There’s a long pause, and I start to panic internally, wondering who he’s talking to. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I should have called you. I figured you’d be asleep.” My heart is in my throat now, crawling its way up, trying to escape from Miles and me and this entire situation. My heart knows by my reaction to this phone call that it’s in trouble. My heart has just gone into fight-orflight mode, and right now, it’s doing everything it can to run. Six years earlier My dad says he needs to speak to us. He asks me to get Rachel and meet him and Lisa at the diningroom table. I tell him okay, that there’s something we need to speak to them about, too. Curiosity flashes in his eyes but only for a brief second. He thinks about Lisa again, and he’s not curious anymore. His everything is Lisa. I go to Rachel’s room and tell my everything that they want to speak to us. We all sit down at the dining-room table. I know what he’s going to say. He’s going to tell us he proposed. I don’t want to care, but I do. I wonder why he didn’t tell me first. This makes me sad but only a little bit. It’s not going to matter after we tell them what we have to tell them. “I asked Lisa to marry me,” he says. Lisa smiles at him. He smiles at her. Rachel and I aren’t smiling. “So we did,” Lisa says, flashing her ring.

Diaries & Calendars

I come to a stop at 1814, because there’s a guy passed out on the floor of the hallway, leaning against the door to 1816. e: New girl enrolled today. Senior. n: Is she hot? e: Haven’t seen her yet. About to walk her to class. n: Take a picture if she’s hot. e: Will do. BTW, how many times have you had detention this year? n: Twice. Why? What’d you do? I change into a pair of sweats and a tank top, then brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Normally, I would be nervous about the fact that there’s a stranger in the same apartment I’m in, but I have a feeling I don’t need to worry. Corbin would never ask me to help someone he felt might be a threat to me in any way. Which confuses me, because if this is common behavior for Miles, I’m surprised Corbin asked me to bring him inside.

And goodness, when the truth is finally revealed, IT. IS. UGLY. Gut wrenching. Shattering. I was breathless. In tears. Everything fell into place. I got it.

Il libro viene alternato dal punto di vista di Tate nel presente e dal punto di vista di Miles nel passato. Tramite i pezzettini del passato di Miles riusciremo a capire pian piano quello che è successo a quel cuore tormentato, riusciremo a capire la sua lotta interiore. Lui non vuole amare, lui non vuole più provare quel sentimento per nessuno, ma ormai si sa che il cuore fa quel che gli pare e piace. E mentre Miles cerca di combattere e lottare contro i suoi sentimenti e il suo cuore, Tate riesce pian piano ad entrare dentro di lui.