Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

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It’s my responsibility not to let another’s personal actions and expectations wear me down to the worst version of myself.” It feels like it's written to a very niche audience (wives struggling to draw boundaries in regard to their repeatedly unfaithful husbands), but marketed to a much broader audience.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing

Be equipped to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive and is no longer sustainable. In my opinion, the book could've been much stronger if the author had taken more time with the book. It feels rushed in many ways, including the fact that she's admittedly still dealing with a lot of the things that she's speaking as an expert on. I don't know how to rate this book, so here's my thoughts after having read the first ~70% and skimming the rest. Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? Lysa has asked these hard questions in the midst of her own relational struggles.

Lysa’s book reminded me of my college years when I would write papers for classes, be way below the word count, and fill them with fluff to meet the word count minimum. Lysa’s book would have been better as a blog post, not an entire book. I thank God for leading me to Good Boundaries and Goodbyes at this exact time in my life and felt Him speaking to me through Lysa's writing. I'm sure many other women in similar circumstances will feel the same. Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa’s Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book. My wife and I are both avid readers, constantly adding new books to our shelves. Whenever my wife adds a new book, I typically add it to my reading list. Recently, my wife added Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst to our shelves, so I naturally added it to my list of books to read. I was surprised to find it so highly rated and decided to read it sooner rather than later. It was my first time reading a book by Terkeurst. It was my first time learning about Terkeurst herself and why she is a well-known author. So, I didn't know what to expect.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Los…

Save yourself 6 months and go read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Now THAT is an excellent, thought-provoking book on boundaries. As a whole, this book is okay. Some readers may find it incredibly empowering, but others - including myself - would get more out of other books on the same topic. I would only recommend this book to its target audience; for all others, I recommend Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, which covers the same material, but from a more logically driven perspective. Terkeurst’s book feels tailored to processing emotions and developing/maintaining close relationships (or letting them go). Cloud and Townsend write in a more instructional manner, first explaining what boundaries are, why they are important, and how they can be used as tools. I do not think Terkeurst is a poor author by any means, but she has a specific target audience in mind as she writes this book, and those outside of that group are less likely to be impacted by her words. Despite the book seemingly being born out of her trauma, Terkeurst does not focus on her situation; she does not discuss any overly personal details, and she avoids painting anyone in a bad light. Instead, Terkeurst comes across like a therapist for whatever the reader is going through in their relationships. Terkeurst focuses on what’s happening inside the reader and helps them work through their experiences in a healthy way. The best parts of each chapter were written by her therapist, Jim Cress. Simply put, Lysa didn’t offer us anything new that hasn’t already been covered in Cloud and Townsend’s Boundaries book. Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that accessby Lysa TerKeurst | Dec 21, 2022 | Blog, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Online Bible StudiesAs I wrote my new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, I thought of you with every word I typed. I thought about the comments and direct messages I receive with your stories. The heartbreak. The tears. The relational hardships that seem never-ending. The greatest... But other people will never be able to fill that empty feeling inside of you. Only God can do that. So the foundation of any good relationship has to start with you having a good relationship with yourself and with God. I often see women post comments to Lysa's posts on Facebook expressing gratitude that her writing touches upon their own direct experiences. Lysa's personal writing style and insight, won through many hard-fought battles she shares as illustrations, make it seem as if she is writing from the heart of the reader. That ability, her evident empathy, and sound Biblical application to put it into perspective and call the reader to ultimately lean on our true source of wisdom and healing are God-given.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist

I was unfamiliar with Lysa TerKeurst when I happened upon Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook and discovered she was about to release a book about setting boundaries and, when necessary, saying goodbye to unsustainable relationships. I thought a book like that might apply to a current difficult relationship for which I was seeking ... something. So, I signed up and received an advance copy. Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access. And you also have to see yourself as being just as sufficient for God’s love as other people are. If you’re giving too much in your relationships because you believe it’s the Christian thing to do, you’re not alone in your misunderstanding of Christ’s command to forgive – more on that in a little while. I read “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”, by Lysa Terkeurst several years ago, and I have tried to read each new release she has had since. That book spoke to me and touched me more than any other book I have ever read. With this latest release being about boundaries, I knew I better read (and study) this book as well! The book consists of twelve chapters, each covering a nuanced thought or concern in establishing boundaries with the people one loves. However, Terkeurst’s writing style tends to create overlap between the subject matter in each chapter, making them hard to distinguish from each other. Nevertheless, a glance at the chapter titles instantly shows the reader what they can expect to learn from this book.Early in the book, Terkeurst writes, “I’ll be with you as we trust God to lead us through every word and every step. And you’ll also hear from my Christian counsellor Jim Cress, who will weigh in with therapeutic insights throughout the book.” The book applies current best practices in therapy and relationship counselling to its subject matter. Additionally, it heavily relies on biblical teachings and narratives to help reinforce each point. Most of the book comes from Terkeurst’s personal experiences, and these outside sources support her main topics. Terkeurst does not present any false information; however, her interpretation of the Christian scriptures is sometimes questionable. (I don’t think it’s fair to say her interpretations are wrong. I only mean that someone could argue for a compelling interpretation that contradicts what Terkeurst sometimes.) Nevertheless, the book seems accurate in what it teaches and encourages the reader to learn. On the bright side, her ending was powerful and brought me to tears. I also enjoyed the section at the end with Scripture verses and how to interpret them in healthy ways. But those nuggets of wisdom weren’t enough to overcome the rest of the book. Terkeurst’s book is highly respectful of her faith and people. As a Christian author, Terkeurst constantly finds ways to work-in respect for God; this may turn away some readers, but this is perfectly acceptable for her target audience. Additionally, despite her experience, Terkeurst does not talk about people, spouses, or those who hurt her in a disrespectful way. Instead, she expresses hope that those who cause harm grow and find emotional healing. I came out of this book feeling hopeful for myself and others, and I think most other readers will have a similar experience. Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands these hard questions in the midst of relational struggles. If you are a fan of Lysa Terkeurst and of self-help books (in this case spiritual), and are in need of setting some boundaries, then I definitely recommend reading this book. I will leave this review with just a few more of my favorite quotes.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes | Lysa TerKeurst

But after thousands of life-changing hours of counseling intensives and extensive theological research that transformed the way she defined healthy relationships, Lysa is now more committed than ever to loving people well without compromising her own well-being. In Good Boundaries and Goodbyes , Lysa gives you the tools you need to do the same. Here are a few phrases/sentences that completely altered my state of thinking and helped me further combat the ever life debilitating tendency of people-pleasing that I have struggled with for so long: One way to really protect yourself from bad relationships is to build your relationship with God by spending time working on yourself. Sometimes when we don’t understand ourselves and our needs, we worry that God won’t be enough to fill the emptiness we’re feeling. This can lead to seeking out that fulfillment in other people.I also got the sense from this book that Terkeurst is here to fight for her readers and their well-being. Early on, she states, “This isn’t a book about leaving people. It’s a book about loving people in the right and healthy ways. And it’s about communicating appropriate boundaries and parameters so that love can stay safe and sustainable.” Terkeurst does suggest that a person leave those who refuse to respect their boundaries, but this is a last resort. But overall, she encourages her readers to see worth in themselves and to fight for their relationships in healthy ways. I highly recommend! I went into reading this book unsure of what I would glean, but knowing that I needed to read it. This book offers so many thought provoking sentences and paragraphs. There are so many things to highlight, study along-side the truth of God’s Word, and ponder deeply. I ended my reading feeling more assure of who I am in Christ, and non-apologetic about the boundaries that need to be set in my life for the good of myself and little family as a whole. Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships.