Think Like a Therapist: Six Life-Changing Insights for Leading a Good Life

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It’s not about knowing who is right or wrong, it’s about applying critical thinking to situations, having a good understanding of contextual information, knowing the role of empathy, staying current and relatable and being naturally curious. It turns out that Morgan did feel unloved in childhood, and so the thought of repeating that trauma in adult life is simply too much to bear. It is easier to pretend to ourselves that we will live forever, to deny the possibility of our own demise, and to just not think about it. If either Reece or Morgan wants to do a little more relationship work on their own, then refer to them my recent blog post, " The Coronavirus Hurts Romance, Too.

By doing so over time, you not only have better problem-solving communication, but you help each other heal those old wounds.

What they have in common is breaking out of that binary thinking of whose problem, who’s at fault, who needs to change. They develop an understanding of the world, and who they are in it, based on faulty assumptions that they carry into adulthood as facts.

These revelations often seem to come out of the blue – lightbulb moments in which people suddenly gain a new perspective on how to lead their lives. However, if their desire discrepancy really is about a bigger issue, your couple will never be able to find an adequate compromise, because what's fueling it isn't being addressed. This is how most couples enter therapy: I have a problem with him, with her, and if I or you or both of us can convince her to work less, get him to control his anger, things will be a lot better. It is easy to deny the reality of our own demise, but wisdom comes from confronting our own mortality. This is binary thinking—you/me, change/don't change, your problem /my problem, you're right/ I'm right.It's also a problem that gets amplified by stress—often because the person with a higher libido (in this case, Morgan) finds sex to be helpful in attenuating the impact of stress. Clearly, this is a very short list of things designed to help you think like a therapist, but it’s a good start. Whether it is to untangle emotions or seek a new direction, this book will help you look at life afresh. Jenny equally could have read countless books on family of origin influences on marital choices, including those on the attraction force, fulfilling unmet needs, and looking for security to better educate herself about her choice in men.

I'd refer to them as your beloved, but right now that's probably not the first word that comes to your mind. Often, it is our encounters with adversity that shake us up, shatter our illusions, and wake us to reality, so that we understand the brevity of time we have ahead of us.Whatever else was going on for me, that quote would always be a reminder to put things into perspective. Chances are, you will eventually discover something like Morgan is afraid that their relationship and sex life will slowly disintegrate. Sure they may disagree, but can they tell when they are getting defensive, when the conversation turns into a power struggle, or is simply not going anywhere?