One Last Thing: How to live with the end in mind

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Mitchell sets her own stall out early: if it were possible, she would elect for “the kindness and release” of assisted dying. As this is not yet legal in Britain, she consults charities including Dementia UK and Compassion in Dying, and Baroness Finlay, crossbench peer and professor of palliative medicine. She speaks to doctors and nurses and lawyers to find out what measures she can take to retain some kind of agency as the end nears. Much of it is predicated on difficult conversations with loved ones and documenting wishes for almost every eventuality.

The one that took me by surprise was a very strong opponent of assisted dying. I listened as she went through her arguments and was surprised how weak they were. But what surprised me more was the fact that she didn’t listen to me with the same courtesy I showed her. She was so convinced she was right -- that there was no argument ‘for’, even though I had one. I think her main argument was that we should ensure we get palliative care right for all, but my opinion was ignored. Of course, we should get palliative care right and accessible to all, but it shouldn’t be either get that right or fight for assisted dying laws - it should be a choice. We as humans should be entitled to a choice of good palliative care until we die or good palliative care that includes assisted dying as an option. This is a difficult topic. Most of us don’t want to be reminded of our mortality. I find Wendy inspirational. I have read each of her books and I follow her blog https://whichmeamitoday.wordpress.com/ Wendy Mitchell doesn't fear anything anymore. After her diagnosis of young-onset dementia in 2014, all of Wendy's old fears - the dark, animals - melted away. What more was there to be afraid of when she faced her worst fear: losing her own mind? In talking about these issues, which are uncomfortable for many of us, Wendy challenges the unfairness of being denied choice. Wendy’s concern is for her own future:As I read this book, I am reminded of the conversations we each need to have (and some of us avoid) about choices. Yes, many of us have wills and make provisions for funeral arrangements and for dependents, some of us have advance care directives (or are thinking about it). Those of us avoiding these issues and discussions assume that we will have time and will have the ability to make such decisions. But ability to make such decisions cannot be taken for granted: a brain injury, mental incapacity or advanced dementia might intervene. Wendy Mitchell doesn't fear anything anymore. After her diagnosis of young-onset dementia in 2014, all of Wendy's old fears - the dark, animals - melted away. What more was there to be afraid of when she faced her worst losing her own mind? A hospital is the worst place for someone with dementia: our routine is gone, our familiar surroundings disappear and are replaced with a new and totally alien environment full of noise and people we don’t know.’

This beautiful book will give hope and courage to many people. An uplifting and courageous read' - Kathryn Mannix The task of raising the topic of death and a conversation around it can be daunting to many, but without that conversation, however challenging how can we be certain our directives and wishes will be honoured? It is my belief, even more so now that some do not wish to discuss death because it forces them to confront their own mortality; or perhaps they don’t want to cause loved ones pain around something that as Wendy writes, is a 100% certainty- we are all going to die. This beautiful book will give hope and courage to many people. An uplifting and courageous read' KATHRYN MANNIX There is something uniquely disquieting about opening what’s billed as “the final book” of an author who, although alive, is preparing for imminent death. One Last Thing by Wendy Mitchell is just such a book. I say “imminent”, but only in the sense that as Mitchell recounts her rapid physical and intellectual declinem due to young-onset vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, she knows that time, her time, is running out. This clear-eyed call to arms makes it evident that Mitchell will do her damnedest to die on her own terms.If anything, Mitchell has turned into a bit of a daredevil as her condition has intensified. Last year, she went wing walking. A month ago, she walked the Infinity Bridge, a highwire suspended 1,000ft above sea level, strung across the Honister Slate Mine in Cumbria. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” she says proudly and with a smile. Later this year, she’s set to abseil down London’s 225m-tall “Cheesegrater” Leadenhall Building. Well it felt like the natural way forward… what better subject to choose for my final book than planning for the future, assisted dying and death? You can’t get more final! Throughout writing this book I’ve realised that death is treated like dementia - it’s a taboo subject for many, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. The one thing that is guaranteed to happen to 100% of the world’s population is given so little value. What other thing affects the entire world’s population? Anyone who reads Mitchell's work can only admire her passion, her energy and her extraordinary courage' SUNDAY TIMES